Employee Named Ted Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

961 Results for Employee Named Ted

View 81 - 90 results for employee named ted comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Named Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #employee parking, #inconvenience, #by design, #personal errands, #intention suffering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The employee parking situation is terrible. I had to park a mile away. Catbert: That's by design. The inconvenience removes your temptation to run personal errands during the day. Dilbert: You're intentionally making my life more difficult? Catbert: What do you think management is?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #tupac video, #holgram, #data cloud, #economical

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Ted, have you seen the Tupac video where he performs as a hologram? We've decided to do the same thing with all of our employees. We're going to move your data to the cloud. Ted: Tupac is dead. Catbert: I think you mean economical.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 19, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #technology, #advantages, #japan, #employee, #exchange

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "We can no longer compete against the Japanese with their technology advantages." The Boss continues, "So we're sending you to Japan on an employee exchange program." Dilbert asks, "To learn their technology and bring it back here?" The Boss replies, "Just do for them what you've done for us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1990's comic on:


Tags #dilbert's ego, #sunglasses, #personality, #toupee, #roy orbison, #rely, #employee, #store, #update, #image

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert's Ego: I'm Dilbert's ego. I'd like to update image with a toupee. Male Employee: I recommend the, "Roy Orbison," Model. It comes with sunglasses. Dilbert's Ego: Now I won't have to rely so heavily on my personality,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1991's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #employee meeting, #wilson, #recognition, #twenty-hour, #overworked, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss gestures toward an employee and says to Dilbert and another man, "I'd like to recognize Wilson for working twenty-hour days and making the project a success." The man says, "Thanks, but I'm not Wilson. He quit months ago." The Boss says, "Oh . . ." The Boss walks away thinking, "I've got to sop calling this the employee recognition program."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #employee, #drug, #testing, #program, #turning, #positive, #Classic, #symptoms

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I'm discontinuing the employee drug testing program . . ." The Boss shows Dilbert a document and says, "Because my own tests keep turning out positive . . . Which makes me suspect that some wise guy has tampered with the medical computer." Dilbert says, "Denial and paranoia . . . Classic symptoms." Wally asks, "Is he 'high' right now?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2012's comic on:


Tags #venture capitalist, #other board members, #10 million

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Venture capitalists gave us $10 million, but I had to agree to put one ion them on board. TED: Should I be worried that your other board members have a combined I.Q of about 70? Dogbert: They weren't dumb enough to give me $10 million dollars. alligator: Burn!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 05, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #newspaper, #employee, #bureaucracy, #fifties, #paid, #forgotten, #perfect, #job

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to a man sitting at a desk behind piles of paper, "Hi . . . Are you new here? I've never seen you before." The man says, "I'm the lost employee . . . I've been hiding in the bureaucracy since the fifties . . . Paid but forgotten." Dilbert thinks, "Wouldn't THAT be the perfect job . . ."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #weather, #report, #cnn, #weatherman, #tummy, #jane, #ted, #messages

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A weather reporter concludes, ". . . And that's the CNN weather report." Ted Turner appears wearing a tank top. He says, "Hey! Don't just sit there watching tv all day! Give me thirty tummy crunches!" Dogbert begins doing stomach crunches. Dogbert thinks, "It's been nothing but mixed messages since Ted married Jane."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #happy face, #peanut butter, #saint ted, #ratbert, #booked, #new york, #saint theresa

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert and Ratbert stand outdoors. Dogbert shows Ratbert a can of peanut butter and says, "It's a miracle, Ratbert. The image of Saint Ted appeared in my jar of peanut butter!" Ratbert asks, "Saint Ted? Who ever heard of Saint Ted? Couldn't you get Saint Theresa?" Dogbert replies, "She was booked to a can of varnish in Upstate New York." Ratbert says, "Saint Ted looks like a 'happy face.'"