Employee Retention Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

477 Results for Employee Retention

View 81 - 90 results for employee retention comic strips. Discover the best "Employee Retention" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #defend against lawsuits, #records retention policy

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "To defend lawsuits, our records retention policy has been updated to include this..." Bam! The Boss: "What was I talking about?" Wally: "The records retention policy."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #stalking new hire, #date tomorrow, #employee orientation, #workplace hazards

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: hows your stalking of the new hire going? Wally: we have a date for tomorrow. Alice: She's in an employee orientation meeting today. wally: Uh - oh. Module four is about identifying workplace hazards.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hired feral employee, #inexpensive, #untrained, #eat food, #run away

View Transcript

Transcript

I hired a feral employee. "He's inexpensive because he's totally untrained." "Chomp" "Ouch!" "So far he knows how to eat food and run away."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2004's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #dumpster diving, #feral, #product specs, #feral employee, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The feral employee Marketing wouldn't give me the product specs. So I made this face and rifled through their dumpster. and you found the product specs? French fry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #cheaper, #employee wellness program, #sick days, #incentives, #highly paid workers, #more fun

View Transcript

Transcript

"Catbert: Evil director of human resources" "I can't decide what's cheaper..." "...An employee wellness program to reduce sick days or incentivizing the older, highly paid workers to die." "Maybe you could use math to figure it out." "When I said cheaper, I meant more fun."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #snob, #business snob, #shake hand, #Dilbert, #buck passer, #cheaper, #regular employee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #highly prodcutive, #useless guy, #employee abseteeism, #stats, #analysis, #disk storage, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

The highly productive but useless guy Heres a copy of my white paper. Its a statistical analysis of the correlation between disk storage and employee absenteeism. I oddment know how to do statistics but ut doesn't matter because I didn't have data.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #campiagn, #employee happiness, #forbidden fruit, #no dating emplyees, #date each other

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources AS part of my ongoing campaign against employee happiness.." "Employees are not allowed to date each other." "Now you're forbidden fruit...yummmy." "Stay back, rule-breaker."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2005's comic on:


Tags #employee orientation, #where to start, #busy, #back, #stress, #website, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

First Day on the Job "Employee orientation was great! Now where do you want me to start!" "I'm kind of busy. Maybe you could look at our Web site and guess what you should be doing." "Gaaa!!! What happened to my back???" "Stress, you get used to it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #softening up, #employee satisfaction survey, #fire them, #purring

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The employee satisfaction survey says they don't trust management. "Don't worry. I'll find out who feels that way and fire them during the next retrenchment." "Purr? Who said purr?"