End Sentences Comic Strips - Page 9

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204 Results for End Sentences

View 81 - 90 results for end sentences comic strips. Discover the best "End Sentences" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 1996's comic on:


Tags #vending machine, #stole money, #sentenced to death, #director human resources, #desensitized, #tragic news, #execution is scheduled

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Dilbert arrives at home carrying a briefcase. Dogbert sits on the couch reading the newspaper. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Today was a bad day. First the vending machine stole my money . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . And by the end of the day I had been sentenced to death by the director of human resources . . ." Dogbert reads and hums as he ignores Dilbert. Still reading the paper, Dogbert says, "I've become totally desensitized to tragic news!" Dilbert says, "The execution is scheduled for tomorrow. I should call in sick."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1996's comic on:


Tags #tormenting the bvendor, #bidding economic future, #buying decsion, #performance measures, #vendor challenge, #nice t hsirts

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Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table with a vendor. Wally says, "You must do our bidding, Vendor. We control your economic future." Dilbert says, "Of course, our buying decision will be based solely on quantifiable performance measurements." Dilbert stands at the end of the table holding a hoop. The salesperson is on his hands and knees on the table. Dilbert says, "Your competitor completed the 'Vendor Challenge Course' in 37 seconds." Wally adds, "And he gave us VERY nice t-shirts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1996's comic on:


Tags #yelling, #boss, #diagree, #oor interpersonal skills, #class, #improve them, #snarky remarks, #Dilbert, #boss projects

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The Boss sits at his desk and tells Dilbert, "Whenever we disagree, I always end up yelling." The Boss continues, "That's an indication that you have poor interpersonal skills. I'm sending you to a class to improve them." Dilbert says, "It looks like you've gained weight. Would it help if I started jogging?" The Boss replies, "This is exactly what I'm talking about."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 06, 1997's comic on:


Tags #advertisement, #elbonia, #grainy photos, #pig, #mail order bride, #animals

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Wally tells Dilbert, "I've decided to end my loneliness by getting a mail-order bride from Elbonia." Wally continues, "The photos were grainy, but the advertisement guarantees that she's cute." In Elbonia, a man holds a telephone and tells another man, "Blonde." The man reaches into a box of wigs and selects a blonde wig. A pig wearing a dress stands next to him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #clean desk policy, #lick clean, #spineless, #stupid

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Catbert: Evil H.R. Director Catbert stands atop Wally's computer monitor and waves a new policy sheet in Wally's face. "Here's the new 'clean desk' policy, Wally." Wally reads from the sheet, "Employees must lick their workplaces clean at the end of each business day." Wally stands in the doorway to the Boss's office. He says, "Do they seriously think we're this spineless and stupid?" The Boss responds, "Ahm nah chanthing it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 1997's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #telewedgie, #relocating, #compnay, #phone behind, #belt level, #albeit

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I've asked Bob the Dinosaur to cal your CEO and give him a telewedgie." Bob holds a cordless phone. Dilbert asks, "Will that stop him from moving the company?" Over the phone, Bob says, "... now hold the phone behind you at belt level..." Dogbert says, "Stranger things have happened, albeit not often." Bob yanks the CEO's underwear through the phone, giving him a wedgie. On the other end, the CEO screams.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 1997's comic on:


Tags #insatlling isdn line, #digital phone, #different process, #slap fight, #awkward

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Installing and ISDN Line Phone repairman says, "These digital phone lines require a very different instillation process." Dilbert is seated on his couch. Repairman says, "You'll have to show me your SPIDS now." Dogbert sits on table. Dogberts asks, "What happened after the slap fight?" Dilbert's shirt is ripped, Dilbert's hair stand on end. Dilbert says, "Then it got awkward."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #compliments, #compliments list, #everything you say, #lower opinion, #analyze identity

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Dogbert and Dilbert go for a walk. Dogbert says, "When you're with a woman, everything you say will lower her opinion of you." Dilbert says, "But, I can give her compliments, right?" Dogbert's ears standon end. He says, "No! That's the worst thing." Dogbert says, "Women keep a log of all compliments. They analyze the pattern to identify negative trends." Dilbert says, "Should I use my real name?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #user manual, #typo, #technical calls, #phone sex place, #complaints are down, #customers

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Dilbert looks over his cubicle wall. The Boss says, "Our user manual has a typo. Our technical support calls are going to a phone sex place." The Boss says, "Complaints are way down." Customer's House: The customer sits at his computer and says into the telephone, "Well, okay, but... has that ever worked?" The voice on the other end of the line says, "No complaints yet."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #legal, #department, #corporate, #lawyer, #trial, #judge, #position, #unglamorous, #consequently, #bad, #attitude, #approve, #sued, #trouble, #month, #nromally, #reject, #lawsuit

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "Before I read your proposal, run it past our legal department." Dilbert groans. The Boss thinks, "That's the end of that." A lawyer tells Dilbert, "I didn't have to become a corporate lawyer. I could be a trial lawyer or a judge, you know." The attorney continues, "But I chose to work here at this unglamorous position." The man continues, "Consequently, I have a bad attitude and I'm going to take it out on you." The lawyer says, "Your proposal does noting to help MY career. And if I approve it and we get sued later, then I'll get in trouble." The lawyer continues, "In a month or so, I'll formally reject your idea with a neatly typed but oddly worded memo." The Boss asks, "Did he reject your proposal yet?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah. And he filed a lawsuit against me."