Engineer Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

246 Results for Engineer

View 81 - 90 results for engineer comic strips. Discover the best "Engineer" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2001's comic on:


Tags #set up instructions, #read instructions, #true engineer, #set up, #slurping sounds

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Alice open a box as Wally stands by, drinking coffee. Alice says, "Dilbert, we should read the set-up instructions." Alice and Dilbert lift the contraption out of the box as Dilbert replies, "Alice, a true engineer never reads the set-up instructions." Wally takes a sip of coffee. Dilbert continues holding the contraption as Alice reads the instruction manual: "It says to keep it away from any slurping sounds." Just then, an arm reaches out and grabs Wally's head.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #mud delivery business, #highly trained engineer, #business model, #deliver mud, #people live in mud

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is packing his suitcase. He says to Dogbert, "I'm supposed to shut down our Elbonian mud delivery business." Dilbert continues, "But I'm a highly trained engineer so I will analyze their business model and fix it." Dogbert replies, "They deliver mud to people who live in mud." Dilbert says, "You have my attention."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 11, 2002's comic on:


Tags #job as waiter, #job as engineer, #qualified, #manager, #slapping drunk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert are sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take a job as a waiter until I can get a job as an engineer." Dogbert replies, "You're not qualified to wait on tables." Dilbert responds, "How hard could it be?" A waiter is juggling dishes unsteadily. He says to Dilbert, "The manager is over there slapping a drunk."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #demoting to engineer, #job to crony, #real work, #pretend, #working, #one wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The new Senior Vice President says to The Boss, "I'm demoting you to engineer so I can give your current job to one of my cronies." The Boss exclaims, "I won't survive. I don't know how to do real work!" The Boss says to Wally, "Wally, can you teach me how to pretend to be working?" Wally replies, "Whoa! There can only be one Wally."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 27, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bandwidth, #budget, #double click, #engineer for week, #interface, #ping director, #scope, #batch mode

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Alice and Dilbert, "Let's ping the director of marketing and double-click on the budget." The Boss continues, "Then we can interface in batch mode and put a scope on his bandwidth." Alice cringes and exclaims, "Please stop doing that!" The Boss adds, "Have I mentioned that I was an engineer for a week?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2003's comic on:


Tags #makes me happy, #exoskleton, #bad job, #social life, #chemicals, #illusion, #engineer, #soul, #therapy, #psychology, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 01, 2003's comic on:


Tags #critical, #engineer, #handshake, #head with lies, #new team player, #parinoid, #soft and clammy hand, #undead, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss introduces a woman to Dilbert, "Dilbert, meet your new team member, Peri Noid." Peri Noid extends her hand and asks, "Why haven't you invited me to a meeting? Who's filling your head with lies?" Peri Noid continues, "Your hand is soft and clammy! Are you the undead?!!" Dilbert replies, "Engineer."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 18, 2003's comic on:


Tags #at party, #camera advice, #engineer, #physical, #wally dressed as engineer, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is talking to a woman at a party. The woman says, "You're an engineer, maybe you can tell me what kind of digital camera I should buy." Dilbert responds, "Would you ask a doctor for free advice?" The woman says, "I got a complete physical by the appetizer." Wally approaches them in a doctor's uniform and says, "Yeah, I'm never off duty."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #moved to marketing, #lisa, #old apple computer, #old wife, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I was an engineer before I moved to marketing. Now I don't remember how to turn on my lisa, Dilbert: You have an old lisa computer from apple? Man: Old wife.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #bad attitude, #new engineer, #paid more, #justify, #smile

View Transcript

Transcript

"Why does the new engineer get paid more than I do? How do you justify that?" "Unlike you, he doesn't have a bad attitude." "I have a good attitude. Look at this smile. Look!" "My eyes!"