Entire Net Worth Comic Strips - Page 9

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277 Results for Entire Net Worth

View 81 - 90 results for entire net worth comic strips. Discover the best "Entire Net Worth" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #birthdays, #collecting money, #birthday present, #acquaintance price, #chart, #used gum, #lint, #bent staples

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Tina: I'm collecting money for Scott's birthday present. Dilbert: Let me check my acquaintance price chart to see what he's worth. Do you have change for used gum? Tina: Do you want it in lint or bent staples?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poetry, #poem, #monkey, #animals

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert asks, "Well? What do you think of my new poem?" Dogbert replies, "I once read that given infinite time, a thousand monkeys with typewriters would eventually write the entire works of Shakespeare." Dilbert asks, "But what about MY poem?" Dogbert replies, "Three monkeys, ten minutes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #earth, #creatures, #shot, #god, #speak

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert says, "God spoke to me today. He appointed me ruler of all creatures on earth." Dilbert replies, "God did NOT speak to you." Dogbert says as he walks away, "It was worth a shot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #free, #hypnosis, #lessons, #friends, #class

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Dilbert walks down the sidewalk and sees a sign on a building that says, "Free Hypnosis Lessons!" Dilbert thinks, "Hmm . . ." Dilbert thinks, "There's probably some catch, but it's worth a look." Dilbert walks away from the building wearing nothing but his boxer shorts and holding his arms out in front of him. Dilbert says, ". . . A wonderful class . . . I must tell my friends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #job, #morning, #amnesia, #waking up, #screaming

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Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #geraldo, #cult, #television, #live television, #Dogbert, #talking

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Geraldo Rivera holds a microphone and says, "Today on 'Geraldo' our entire show is about a dog who started his own cult!" Dogbert says into the microphone, "Actually, Geraldo, I don't know what you're talking about." Geraldo faces the camera and smiles. Dogbert says, "I love live television."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #encyclopaedia, #brittanica, #hair, #museum, #wrote, #bibile

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Dilbert sits in a chair. Dogbert says, "I've written the entire Encyclopaedia Brittanica on this hair." Dogbert continues, "I'll open a museum and charge people to see it." Dilbert says, "It's kind of hard to prove you wrote all that on a hair." Dogbert points to a hair says, "I'll swear on this Bible."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #museum, #amazing, #engineer, #computer, #induced, #trance, #ten, #cents, #dollar

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Dogbert approaches Dilbert sitting at a desk. Dogbert says to the man and woman following him, "This exhibit is the pride of 'Dogbert's Museum of the Strange and Amazing.'" Dogbert continues, "This is an engineer, deep in a computer-induced trance and oblivious to his environment." Dogbert holds out a container of balls and says, "You can bop him in the back of his head with whiffle balls for ten cents a throw." The man gets out his wallet and says, "Gimme a dollar's worth."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #rare, #stamp, #upside, #shot, #collection, #down

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters and says, "I'm rich! I found a rare stamp that was printed upside down!" Dilbert turns around and takes the stamp. He says to Dogbert, "It's not printed upside down - you were holding it upside down." Dogbert walks away thinking, "It was worth a shot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #conference room, #meetings, #office dynamics, #stimulate innovation, #table

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Boss: What we need is an overarching strategy to stimulate our innovation. Dilbert: Or you could stop smothering the innovation we already have. Boss: That's the dumbest idea I've heard in my entire life. Dilbert: And there it is.