Erase Hard Drive Comic Strips - Page 9
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416 Results for Erase Hard Drive
View 81 - 90 results for erase hard drive comic strips. Discover the best "Erase Hard Drive" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 17,
2004
Tags #product designer, #function, #design, #everything, #quality, #news, #emotional impact, #hard to look at
Transcript
"Product designer" Dogbert: "Function means nothing. Design is everything." "Quality is yesterday's news. Today we focus on the emotional impact of the product." Dilbert: "But it still needs quality, right?" Dogbert: "You are so-o-o-o hard to look at."
Saturday October 09,
2004
Tags #drive by management, #whats hi sanme, #out run, #answer no questions, #need for clarification, #we're dead
Transcript
The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.
Wednesday December 08,
2004
Tags #blinding flashes, #sightless, #didn't drive car, #can't do that
Transcript
Your blinding flashes of the obvius made me sightless for three days. "I hope you didn't drive your car. You're not supoosed to do that when you're blind." "GAAA!!!" "I'm upsetting you."
Sunday March 07,
1999
Tags #morale, #family picture, #picture of you, #hard to look at, #freaks, #alice
Transcript
Alice, to the Boss, who is sitting at his desk, "...So our morale is... umm..." Alice asks, "What's that on your desk?" The Boss says, "It's a family picture." Alice picks up the photograph, "I might be wrong but I think it's only a picture of you." The Boss says, "The rest of the family is hard to look at." The Boss continues, "I see no reason I should suffer." Alice is stunned. The Boss asks, "Now what was your question about morale?" Alice walks out of the Boss' office. He calls to her, "Alice?" The Boss picks up the picture of himself and says, directly to it, "We're surrounded by freaks."
Sunday May 23,
1999
Tags #quick question, #innocent work realted, #question, #try to impress, #knowledge of engineering, #pathetic hope, #value, #intelligence, #physical appearence, #red bmw, #lights on
Transcript
Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."
Sunday June 06,
1999
Tags #email two copies, #fax, #green paper, #email, #files, #hard copy, #internet, #motivation gone, #losing consciousness, #lazy employees, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the boss' desk. The boss says, "e-mail two copies to me when you're done." Dilbert says, "Two copies? It's e0mail." The boss says, "So?" Dilbert says, "Never mind. I'll e-mail two copies." The boss says, "and fax a copy in green paper for my files." Dilbert says, "Green? It's a fax!" The boss walks Dilbert out of his office and says, "And bring me a hard copy of the internet so I can do some serious surfing." Dilbert begins to faint in the doorway. Dilbert thinks, "Motivation.... gonve.. losing consciousness.." Dilber joins the pile of passed out employess by the boss' door. The boss thinks, "How did I end up with all the lazy employees?"
Sunday December 05,
1999
Tags #carol got mba, #hard wirk, #rewarded, #pompous baboon, #sensitive way, #secretarial stigma, #wet caroets, #coffee, #fetch me one
Transcript
The boss and Carol are standing in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert. The boss says, while pointing to Carol: "Congratulations to my secretary Carol for getting her MBA" The boss says to Carol: "At this company we believe hard work should be rewarded." The boss says to Carol: "The next time you fetch my coffee, get some coffee for yourself too!" Carol says to the boss: "You should be promoting me, you pompous baboon!" The boss says to Carol: "How can I explain this in the most sensitive way?" The boss says: "The secretarial stigma will cover you like a mountain of wet carpets until the day you die." The boss says to Carol, who looks furious: "I'm glad we had this talk. I think it helped." Alice and Wally are walking behind the boss and Alice says:"The next time you ask for coffee. We'd like to watch."
Wednesday February 02,
2005
Tags #award, #hard work, #chair, #new chair, #stolen, #happiest moment
Transcript
The Boss: This award goes to Asok for his hard work on ... Whatever. Asok: "My dedication has been rewarded! This is the happiest moment of my life!" "Wow! It's lucky that I got a new chair on the same day that mine was stolen."
Saturday May 28,
2005
Tags #tech support, #bad computer, #designed to be slower, #unrelaible, #defragment, #disk drive
Transcript
"Dogbert's Tech Support " You have a bad case of computer rot." "Your computer is designed to become slower and more unreliable over time so you have to upgrade." "But if you'd like some false hope, I can tell you to defragment your disk drive."
Saturday August 13,
2005
Tags #last doughnut, #last half, #xenos, #switch, #hard liquor
Transcript
Dilbert: No one ever wants to tae more than half or whats left of the last doughnut. Thats why I call it xenon doughnut. HEE HEE! Waitress: I heard some of that, do you want to switch to hard liquor? Woman: Hurry.