Feel Any Luckier Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Feel Any Luckier

View 81 - 90 results for feel any luckier comic strips. Discover the best "Feel Any Luckier" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #office efficency, #celebrated, #done forevre, #feel special

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources In order to improve office efficiency, all birthdays will be celebrated on the same day." "Do you mean one clebration per year, or just once and then we're done forever?" "Just once." "Well, at least I'll feel special once. What day is the celebration?" "Yesterday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2007's comic on:


Tags #depressed, #corporate job, #intern, #unimportant tasks, #feel nothing, #stressed, #ptsd, #punch, #numb out

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Asok: My job is an endless series of mind-numbingly unimportant tasks. "My central nervous system is starting to atrophy." The Boss: "I'm kind of busy." Asok: "Punch me in the head so I can feel something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2007's comic on:


Tags #elbonian divison, #do any work, #every minute, #hidden cameras, #randomly fire, #evil, #buttocks tingle

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The Boss: My Elbonian division won't do any work unless someone is watching them every minute. Catbert: "Tell them you have hidden cameras." "Then randomly fire one Elbonian per week." The Boss: "Hee-hee! Evil makes my buttocks tingle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2007's comic on:


Tags #eliminated budget, #automated test software, #new code, #automated test, #end any converstaion, #calling person big baby

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Dilbert: "You eliminated the budget for automated test software. How are we going to test our new code?" The Boss: "Go write some automated test software, you big baby. I already pay you, so it's free." Dilbert: "Today I learned I can end any conversation by calling the other person a big baby." Dogbert: "Waa-waa! Do you want your bottle?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 04, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #employee survey, #respect and dignity, #feel gross, #disgust, #paper towel

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Catbert: The first question on the employee survey is... Do you feel you are valued and treated with respect and dignity? Dilbert: Well, let me put it this way... you know how sometimes you step in something gross and then you have to wipe it off your shoe with a paper towel? Catbert: So... you feel like the paper towel? Dilbert: No, the paper towel has a purpose. Catbert: So... you feel like the gross stuff on the shoe? Dilbert: No, the gross stuff gets to leave. I feel like a shoe that has gross stuff on the bottom and a sweaty foot shoved all the way to the end of its sole. Catbert: I'll leave this one blank. Dilbert: Because my opinions don't matter?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #executives, #public opinion, #feel engaged, #meeting, #appearences, #business

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CEO: Before I make my decision, I'd like to ask for your opinions. It's supposed to make you feel "engaged." Dilbert: And you actually plan to listen to us? CEO: I'm hoping it will look that way on the outside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 2013's comic on:


Tags #dress cassually, #drive innovation, #flex hours, #frustration, #optimism, #start up culture, #valued work

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Boss: We need to foster more of a start-up culture to drive innovation. Dilbert: So we get to dress casually, work flex hours, feel that our work is valued, and get equity in the company. Boss: What would be the name of a culture where people work hard but don't get any of those things you just mentioned.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2013's comic on:


Tags #fear, #change is good, #don't fear change, #sickness and death, #alarming symptoms

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Boss: Do not fear change because change is good. Dilbert: Actually, studies show that any big changes in a person's life vastly increase the odds of sickness and death. Wally: Are you trying to kill us? Dilbert: I can't feel my arm!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2008's comic on:


Tags #project, #customer calls, #can't deliver on time, #features needed, #getting waterboarded, #birthday, #price went up

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Dilbert: My project is on hold. Do you need any help on yours? Alice: Sure. Call these customers and tell them we can't deliver on time or with the features they need. Dilbert: Do you have any tasks that don't feel like getting waterboarded on your birthday? Alice: And tell them the price went up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2008's comic on:


Tags #ergonomically correct, #evil director, #human services, #job perfomance, #chairs, #wellness related

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Our concern for wellness is related to your job performance." Catbert says, "Obviously you won't be getting an ergonomically correct chair any time soon." Catbert says, "And feel free to type as hard as you want."