Fiancee Department Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for fiancee department comic strips. Discover the best "Fiancee Department" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #karoshi, #Wally, #Dilbert, #the boss, #business meeting, #japanese, #worklife balance

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The Boos, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "In Japan, employees occasionally work themselves to death. It's called karoshi." The Boss continues, "I don't want that to happen to anybody in my department." The Boss continues, "The trick is to take a break as soon as you see a bright light and hear dead relatives beckon."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealing, #Dilbert, #phil, #accounting, #break, #lunch, #office

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Phil the Ruler of Heck leads Dilbert into the elevator by his tie. Dilbert asks, "What's the penalty for stealing a chair??" Phil replies, "You are sentenced to sit in the break room used by the accounting department." Dilbert sits at a table with two men. One man says, "I like to type the number six." The other looks into his paper bag and says, "Cripes! This is my Tuesday lunch bag."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small group, #young, #Funny, #single people, #socialize, #romances, #ski trips

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Tina: "Dilbert, I'm forming a small clique of all the young, funny, single people in the department." "We'll have drinks during lunch, talk about ski trips, and have romances within the group." Dilbert: "Please...just shoot me now." Tina: "No, no...we need you to do our work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customers, #marketing, #technical, #feasible, #business

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Dilbert: we in engineering think of the marketing department as our customer, Fred. FRED: Thats great. Id like you to do a technical feasibility study for me. Wally: would that require any work? I said "customer" not boss.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget analyst, #budget cuts, #intelligent choices, #understand enginering, #strategy

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The Boss: Susan, I want you to make some budget cuts throughout my department. Susan: But Im only the budget analyst. I couldn't understand all the engineering projects enough to make intelligent choices. The Boss: Really? Great! I thought it was just me! Susan: Shall I whomp up a strategy while Im at it?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad news, #break gradually, #budget worked on, #build up, #effort, #reorganizing dept., #worthless, #you're fired

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The Boss: Susan, Im reorganizing the department again. The budget you worked on for months its now worthless. Susan: I think when you have bad news you should make an effort to break it gradually, maybe build yup to it. The Boss: Oh, that reminds me: You're fired.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #difficult, #cooperate, #project success, #head is full, #birdseed, #pants glued, #soap carving

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Dilbert: Your department has a reputation for being difficult to work with. But I know we can cooperate to make my project a success. Man: Id love yo help but my head is full of birdseed and my pants are glued to this chair. Dilbert: I'll talk to your boss. Man: Good Luck. He's a soap carving.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #benefits dept, #retire now, #haitian penny stocks, #change in tone, #letter about pension, #contrarain investor

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dilbert: Uh-oh...it's never good when we get mail from the benefits department. "retire now or we'll invest your entire pension in haitian penny stocks. Dilbert: Have you noticed a change in tone lately? Wally: Little do they know Im a contrarian investor.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #iso 9000 certfication, #create boring, #poorly written document, #big binder, #copies to dept. heads, #dead racoon

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Dilbert puts a transparency on an overhead projector and says, "Here's the basic plan for getting our 'ISO 9000' certification." Dilbert points at the diagram and continues, "Each of you will create an insanely boring, poorly written document. I'll combine them into one big honkin' binder." Dilbert points to a picture of a man passing a binder to another man and continues, "I'll send copies to all department heads for comment. They will treat it like a dead raccoon and route it to the first passerby."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kill the messenger, #finance, #20% cut, #budget cuts, #success vector, #money

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An employee from the finance department stands beside an overhead projector, giving a presentation to Dilbert and Alice. The man says, "Here's your latest budget cuts. But please don't kill the messenger from finance, ha ha!!" The man continues, "I recommended a 20% cut. A quick glance around the room tells me you're not on the success vector anyhoo, so nothing lost." The finance employee hangs out the window, tied up in the overhead projector's power cord. He says, "Tough room."