Fifty Year Old Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

592 Results for Fifty Year Old

View 81 - 90 results for fifty year old comic strips. Discover the best "Fifty Year Old" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #objectives, #rest of year, #what happens now?, #double salary, #harm in asking

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, to the boss, "I've finished all my objectives for the rest of the year." Asok says, "What happens now? Do you double my salary, or do I take the rest of the year off?" Asok carries a huge pile of papers down the hall, Asok says , to Wally, "You were wrong Wally: there is harm in asking." Wally says, "ooops."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #old binders, #landfill, #fedex, #marketing, #look expose reports, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands with a box behind Wally who sits at his computer. Asok says, "Wally, what is the quickest way to send this old binders to the landfill?" Wally says, "I usually use "Fedex". Charge it to marketing; they never look at their expense reports" Asok walks away and thinks, "here's one more thing I can never tell anyone about my job."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exiled, #quality assurance, #doomed career, #old dept., #engineering, #break time

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: im exiled yto the quality assurance department, My career is doomed. I can't let my old department forget me. They're my only hope of returning to engineering, It must be break time in the QA department, Wally: I'll get the fire hose,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogberts tech support, #upgrade software, #old software, #back up data, #delete it yourself

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Dogbert's tech support" Dogbert talks on the phone at a computer. Dogbert says, "If you upgrade your software, all of your data will be lost." Dogbert says, "But if you don't upgrade, the old software will corrupt your data one bit at a time." Dogbert says, "And if you try to back up your data, our software will hunt you down and bit-slap you until you delete it yourself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fifty mile run, #join me, #two triathlons, #entry forms

View Transcript

Transcript

Strong Guy says to Dilbert who is working in the cubicle, "I'm going on a fifty-mile run. Would you care to join me?" Dilbert says, "No." Dilbert works on his computer. Strong Guy says, "I signed up for two triathlons this weekend. Do you want the entry forms?" Dilbert says, "No." Strong Guy says, "Next week a few of us will be leaping into geosynchronous orbit..." Dilbert raises his arms in frustration and says, "Gaa!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #combined birthdays, #birthdays last year, #fake cake, #one cake, #all birthdays, #sing happy birthday

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands in front of a cake and says, "Happy combined birthdays." The Boss continues, "Today we honor the employees who had birthdays within the past year." Wally, Dilbert and Alice stand as the Boss continues, "That's Dilbert...Alice...Asok...did I miss anyone?" Wally raises his hand and says, "Umm...you missed me." The Boss says, "You too? That's spooky." The Boss continues, "I'd cut the cake, but it's a plastic prop." The Boss says, "Let's sing. Does anyone know the words to 'Happy Birthday'?" The Boss walks down the hallway with the fake cake under his arm, and thinks, "I bet those weren't even the real words."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #financial sunsidary, #million victims, #first year, #cross selling, #bayonet the survivors

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss is sitting in a meeting between Wally and Dogbert and he says: "Mister Dogbert will be CEO of our financial subsidiary." Dogbert says: "My goal is one million victims in the first year." Dogbert says: "Then I'll do some cross-selling, which I prefer to call "bayonetting the survivors."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #twenty year car lease, #investment, #hidden fees, #burglar guard house, #wag

View Transcript

Transcript

A client wearing a cap is sitting with Dogbert in a meeting. Dogbert says to him while pushing a sheet a paper towards him: "This investment combines the best features of an annuity plus a twenty-year car lease." The client looks at the sheet of paper and says to Dogbert: "How can I tell if there are hidden fees?" Dogbert answers: "You can pay me 1% per year to advise you." The client looks suspicious and says to Dogbert: "Wouldn't that be like paying a burglar to guard my house?" Dogbert answers: "Excuse my while I wag."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #quit job, #next year, #extra week vacation, #every ten years

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to Dilbert as they walk, "I'd quit this job, but next year I'll get an extra week of vacation." Dilbert replies, "If you get an extra week for every ten years of services..." Dilbert continues, "...you'll be happy in 480 years. Good plan." Alice replies, not humored "Shut up."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #life misrable, #thwart move, #new sadist, #old one, #sadist paradise, #auditing department

View Transcript

Transcript

A man enters Dilbert's cubicle shouting, "I'll make your life miserable! I'll thwart your every move!" The man introduces himself to Dilbert, "Hi. I'm the new sadist." Dilbert replies, "What happened to the old one?" The sadist answers, "He went to sadist paradise." Dilbert ask, "The auditing department?"