Find Humor Comic Strips - Page 9
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399 Results for Find Humor
View 81 - 90 results for find humor comic strips. Discover the best "Find Humor" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 11,
1991
Tags #man, #george lucas, #Dogbert, #news, #sub-contract, #dan, #quayle, #muppets, #film studio, #faked, #special, #effects, #company
Transcript
A man says to George Lucas, "There's a dog here to see you, sir. He may be on to our operation." Lucas asks Dogbert, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I came to find out if the news on television is all faked by your special effects company." Lucas and Dogbert sit at a table. Lucas says, "Actually, we don't do ALL of the news here. We had to sub-contract the Dan Quayle stuff to the Muppets." Dogbert says, "I knew that."
Monday September 16,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #bad, #mood, #trip, #ugly, #stranger, #technique, #wont, #self-help, #book
Transcript
Dogbert walks on a sidewalk thinking, "I'm in such a bad mood. I've got to trip an ugly stranger. That will cheer me up." Dogbert trips a man and the man's glasses fly off his face as he falls. Dogbert walks away thinking, "That's a technique you won't find in any self-help book."
Wednesday October 09,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #easier, #elbonia, #Dogbert, #convince, #despotic, #ruler, #airport, #skeet-shooting, #range
Transcript
Dilbert sits in a giant slingshot holding his suitcase. Dilbert says, "I wish there were an easier way to fly in Elbonia." Dilbert flies through the air over Elbonia. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to find Dogbert and convince him to stop being the despotic ruler of Elbonia." Dogbert, who is wearing a miter, sits on the back of an Elbonian and points a rifle toward the sky. The Elbonian says, "But, sire, this is the airport, not the skeet-shooting range." Dogbert yells, "Pull!"
Wednesday October 23,
1991
Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #high school, #yearbook, #ages, #mike, #voted, #succeed, #most, #beautiful, #potato, #resembles, #himself
Transcript
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I haven't looked at my high school yearbook in ages." Dilbert sits on the floor and leans against the hassock. Dilbert says, "There's Mike - voted Most Likely to Succeed . . . And Lucy - voted Most Beautiful . . ." Dogbert looks over Dilbert's shoulder and asks, "Where are you?" Dilbert replies, "Dilbert - 'Most Likely to Find a Potato That Resembles Himself.'" Dogbert asks, "Who hasn't?"
Saturday November 09,
1991
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #reject, #generous, #company, #hostile takeover, #formidable, #adversary, #lawyers, #clothes off
Transcript
Dilbert says to two attorneys, "I've decided to reject your generous offer to buy the company." Dilbert continues, "And if you try to make this a hostile takeover you will find me to be a formidable adversary." Dilbert arrives at home with his clothes ripped to shreads. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then their lawyers chewed my clothes off."
Friday January 24,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #guilty, #stealing, #millions, #insider, #trading, #scheme, #judge, #punishment
Transcript
Dogbert stands in front of a judge's bench in a courtroom. The judge says, "I find you guilty of stealing millions in an insider trading scheme." The judge says, "Let's see . . . According to my sliding scale of justice, the punishment at your income is . . . Hmm . . ." Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "I'm sentenced to be the subject of a Kitty Kelly biography."
Wednesday February 19,
1992
Tags #Dilbert, #compelte, #eons, #martial, #bliss, #gomer, #somebody, #enlightened, #ruebert, #hell
Transcript
Ruebert the Robot says to Dilbert, "My mate is complete! I will now have eons of marital bliss!" The female robot says, "I don't think so, Gomer. I'm going to shop around . . . Maybe find somebody more enlightened than a can opener." Ruebert says, "It's Ruebert, not Gomer, and I'm the only other robot in existence!" The female robot thinks, "I'm in hell."
Thursday March 05,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #episode, #ignorant, #people, #australia, #globe, #alps, #kangaroos, #london, #inspiration, #bitter, #disapointment
Transcript
Dogbert stands next to a globe and says into a microphone, "On this episode of 'Dogbert's Amazingly Ignorant People' we ask people to find Australia on the globe." A woman looks at the globe and asks, "Is that the place with the Alps or the kangaroos?" A man says, "I think it's in London." Dogbert says, "When we return: inspiration becomes bitter disappointment." The woman says, "Hey! Who says it has to be on the OUTSIDE?"
Tuesday April 14,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #rats, #ratbert, #cuddling, #frisbee, #ears, #appreciative, #scratch, #Dilbert
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert stands on the desk. Ratbert says, "Forget Dogbert; I can be your new best friend!" Ratbert continues, "Rats are twice as good for cuddling and you should see me catch a frisbee!" Ratbert points to his head and says, "Here, scratch behind my ears. You'll find me most appreciative!" Dilbert says, "You sound like me on a date."
Tuesday May 26,
1992
Tags #Dogbert, #genetic, #ghandi, #wisdom, #strength, #chamberlain, #babes, #chair
Transcript
Dogbert stands at a lab table and says, "I'll use Dilbert's genetic lab to make a man with the wisdom of Ghandi and the strength of Wilt Chamberlain." Dogbert thinks, "Or vice versa." A man wearing an Indian pancha says to Dilbert, "Gimme your car keys. I'm gonna find us some babes." Dilbert replies, "Not in MY sheet."