Fix Your Lips Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

163 Results for Fix Your Lips

View 81 - 90 results for fix your lips comic strips. Discover the best "Fix Your Lips" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"I don't like to judge people by their looks, but I'm going to make an exception for you." "Something tells me that you and I will be butting heads." "I have a degree in marketing." "Why aren't your lips moving?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing wasn't cooperating, #come running, #probelms, #hyprocrsy, #set up

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You said to tell you if marketing wasn't cooperating. The Boss: You can't come running to me with every little problem. Go fix it. Dilbert: Then why did you tell me to tell you?! The boss: It's just something I say.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new year's day, #optimism, #network down, #bad new years day, #good year

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: A fresh new year is upon us and I am brimming with optimism. Ugh. Our network at work is down because my pointy-haired boss wouldn't let me upgrade the software. Now I need to work all night to fix it. Maybe this means the next 364 days will be extra awesome. Dogbert: Yeah. That's how it works.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not attracted, #long enough, #fix things, #tech support, #use abilities, #no action

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I'm not attracted to you, but I'd like to date you for one month. That should be long enough to resolve any tech support issues on my home computer, cell phone and home theater." Dilbert: Would there be any kissing? Tina: What kind of girl do you think I am?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fixed satellite, #surround sound, #water filter, #dates fix it guys

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I fixed your satellite dish connection and tuned your surround sound system. Now can we go on our date?" A womany says, "That was our date. In ten minutes I'm dating a guy who will replace the water filter in my refrigerator." Dilbert says, "I can do that." A woman says, "You're welcome to stay and fight him for it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free tech support, #self awreness, #grow to love, #dating for fix it skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I think my girlfriend is only dating me to get free tech support." Dogbert says, "I'm very surprised you think that." Dilbert says, "Because it's unlikely?" Dogbert says, "Because it shows self-awareness." Dilbert says, "She might grow to love me." Dogbert says, "And... back to normal."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nose job, #homeopathy, #art department, #annoyed, #irrational, #hurt feelings, #scorpios, #horoscope, #astrologer, #mean, #insult, #snout, #dog nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new goatee, #mankly, #intellectual, #lazy, #saw a flea

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Does my new goatee make me look manly and intellectual at the same time?" Dilbert says, "It makes you look too lazy to shave around your lips." Dilbert says, "And I think I saw a flea." Wally says, "Yeah. That one is resistant to soup."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reading, #budget, #fixing, #failure

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "We can only afford to fix the high-priority bugs." Dilbert says, "If we don't fix 100% of the bugs, the software will be 100% useless." Dilbert says, "So our plan is to fail?" The boss says, "More slowly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #training, #raising hand, #firing, #confused, #surprised, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Who needs training to keep up with technology trends?" Ted says, "Me." The Boss says, "You're fired. I only want people who already know how to do their jobs." Ted says, "I did not see that coming." Wally says, "They don't have a class to fix that."