Free From Bureaucracy Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for free from bureaucracy comic strips. Discover the best "Free From Bureaucracy" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart wrecking company, #special, #srushing, #new car, #parking lot, #cost, #monthly plan, #free model of car, #crush little one, #crush boss car

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Dogbert stands on Wally's desk, wearing a hardhat. Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Wrecking Company." Dogbert continues, "I'm running a special on crushing your boss' new car in the parking lot." Wally asks, "What does it cost?" Dogbert: "The first one is free." Dogbert adds, "If you're satisfied, I hope you'll consider my monthly plan." Wally is standing at the window with Dogbert, pointing outside. "It's the red one. He brags about it every day." The Boss is standing in front of Wally and Dilbert, holding up a model car. The Boss explains, "And when you spend that much, the dealer gives you a free model of your car!" There is a car horn heard off in the distance. Wally is slipping Dogbert a stack of bills. He adds, "And next month can you crush the little one on his desk too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #habitual liar, #ordered on internet, #resist free stuff

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Dilbert: "Karl, you're a habitual liar but these pills that I ordered over the internet will cure you." Karl: "I've never lied in my life, but I can't resist free stuff." Dilbert: "Um... Are you alive?" Karl: "Never felt better!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #trump, #free stuff, #resources, #free samples, #rich people, #marketing campaign

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Dilbert: How can I create a marketing campaign if my boss doesn't give me any resources? Dogbert: "Try giving free samples to people who look like celebrities." Dilbert: "And you would be?" TRUMP: "Donald trump. Give me some free stuff."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing campiagn, #free samples, #worked, #decline, #intelligence, #conclusion, #marketing, #business

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Dilbert: "My marketing plan involved giving free samples of our cruddy product to celebrity lookalikes." "The fact that it worked caused a steep decline in my respect for the intelligence of people." "In conclusion, there's a fine line between marketing and hating."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #window facing cubicle, #available, #printer papaer, #free trip, #vendor, #sunlight, #bleach, #visible wood

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A prestigious window-facing cubicle has just become available. "It'll be a perfect place to store all the printer paper I bought so I could win a free trip from the paper vendor." "And maybe the sunlight wll bleach out the visible wood chips."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hit man, #killed, #cover tracks, #endless cycle, #all free

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"The trouble with hiring a hit man is that you have to have him killed to cover your tracks." "Then you need a hit man to hit the guy who killed the hit man. It's an endless cycle!" "But ultimately, it's all free, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #unpleasant parts, #free to concentrate, #do startegy

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"I'd like to hire someone to do all of the unpleasant parts of my job." "That way I'll be free to concentrate on strategy." "Fair enough." "Secondly, I'd like to hire someone to do strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing guru, #tractor sized mp3 players, #free ipod, #pricing

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The Marketing Guru "Consumers will buy our tractor-sized mp3 players if we offer something free with each one." "So we'll offer a free iPod with each sale, and free towing to the landfill for our mp3 player." "The rest is just pricing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #green consultant, #source of methane, #free source, #energy, #small office, #give, #butt, #hose, #pants, #health

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Dogbert the green consultant Dogbert: "Your coworkers have identified you as a source of methane." Dogbert: "If we capture this free source of energy we can power a small office building." Wally: "I give and I give."