Giant Military Squirrels Comic Strips - Page 9

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99 Results for Giant Military Squirrels

View 81 - 90 results for giant military squirrels comic strips. Discover the best "Giant Military Squirrels" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 26, 2007's comic on:


Tags #emails, #high priority, #entire week, #working, #feeding squirrel, #east entrance

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Wally: All of your e-mails this week were marked as highest priority. "So I spent the entire week working on the first one." "Next week I plan to continue not feeding the squirrels by the east entrance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2008's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #tall, #giant, #awkward, #arm pits, #cubicle, #intimidating

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Dilbert: Don't get too friendly with the new guy. His armpits are 66 inches off the ground. Asok: He seems nice. I fail to see how the height of his armpits is relevant. Wally: You'll see. New Guy: Hey, little buddy. Let me tell you about my weekend.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 2010's comic on:


Tags #new product, #block of wood, #ceo, #salesman, #high forehead, #inneundo, #leader

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Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2010's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #meeting, #slides, #ad campaign, #baby, #hobos, #cool, #swear, #insult, #business

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Man says, "Our ad campaign will portray users of our competitor's products as baby-eating hobos." Man says, "While our users will be portrayed by the coolest guy in the entire world." Soon the meeting turned ugly Alice says, "Then why are you showing a slide of a giant @$$#%*?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #work, #depressed, #cubicle, #take off jacket, #sit at computer, #powerpoint slides, #happy, #devil, #giant spoon, #prince of insufficient light

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Dilbert says, "What fantasy will I use today to stave off madness?" Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll be 'the man who changed an industry with his powerpoint slides.'" Phil says, "I have a report of unauthorized happiness inside of a head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 04, 2010's comic on:


Tags #work, #happy, #prince of insufficient light, #devil, #giant spoon, #meeting, #photoshop, #upset, #sweat, #grab tie, #business

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Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light Phil says, "You stand accused of being happy at work."<RB>Phil says, "Your penalty is to attend a meeting so horrible that none may speak its name." Photoshop your co-worker's photo onto the torso below. Dilbert says, "No... Please... anything but this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #conversation, #cruelty, #ridicule, #business

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The boss says, "I gave the same assignment to all the employees who look like you." The boss says, "A blind squirrel is more likely to find a nut if there are a lot of blind squirrels." the boss says, "That sounded cruel allow me to rephrase it." the boss says, "I meant vision-impaired squirrels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #product, #idea, #violence, #hitting, #war, #weapon

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The boss says, "Our product is so unsafe that the military wants to use it as a weapon." The boss says, "Now the only way to satisfy our fiduciary duty to stockholders is to foment war to boost our sales." Elbonian says, "Hey, why'd you punch a hole in my hat?!!" Alice says, "That's a little thing we call marketing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 04, 2011's comic on:


Tags #competition (psychology), #exhibitions, #barf bag, #consumer electronics show, #new product cooler than anything, #weighs an ounce

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Alice says, "I see you have your giant-sized barf bag. You must be going to the consumer electronics show." Dilbert says, "Yup." Dilbert says, "Every time I see a new product that is cooler than anything we're working on, I'll go to the bag." Man says, "And it only weight one ounce!" FOOMP!!! At the show

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2009's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #late, #confused, #yelling, #stupidity, #excuses, #uncooperative, #business

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Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."