Grow From Forehead Comic Strips - Page 9

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90 Results for Grow From Forehead

View 81 - 90 results for grow from forehead comic strips. Discover the best "Grow From Forehead" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #useful parts, #open to suggestions, #unqualified, #their own jobs, #software, #recycled paper, #engineering

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Dilbert: "This concludes the useful part of my presentation." "Now let's open the floor to suggestions from people who are unqualified to do their own jobs, much less mine." "Yes, you with the forehead." Man: "Can you make the software out of recycled paper?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loopy, #couldn't end story, #vacation, #cocnuts, #rapped, #round and hairy, #coconut trees, #brown, #being chased, #co worker

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"Introducing LOOPY The woman who couldn't end a story." "Did I tell you about my vacation?" Dilbert: UH- OH "We learned about coconuts." Dilbert: "I"m trapped." Loopy: "Coconuts are round and hairy, and they grow on trees." Dilbert: "Must escape." Loopy: "Coconut trees are found in many countries." Dilbert: "Must use my ejector seat." "FROOMP! HA HA!" "They're brown." "GAAA!!! She has a pursuit chair!!!" "I took lots of pictures." "Must...aim for traffic."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new director, #wist decision support, #out source contracts, #north elbonia, #government reward

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"My job could not be more meaningless." "I'm looking at my new Director of Post-Decision Support!" "After I make a decision, your job is to figure out why it was the right one." "Save those tears of joy for later. We've got work to do!" "SOB!" "I decided to outsource our nuclear contracts to North Elbonia." "And in return, they'll give us food, if they ever figure out how to grow any." "I expect some fallout from this decision." "Me too." "On the plus side, it won't be long before there's a government reward for killing him."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss's office, #employee, #exciting challenges, #fertilized plant, #hard work done, #tree grows

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Asok: "I worked nights and weekends to finish my project ahead of schedule." The Boss: "Good. Here's more work." Asok: "I don't understand. Am I being punished for working hard?" The Boss: "No, you're being rewarded with exciting new challenges." Asok: "Why does the plant grow faster when you say things like that?" The Boss: "No reason." "Stop that!" "Anyway, your annual performance review will award your hard work." Wally: That is one fertilized plant

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee personality prefremces, #styles of thinking, #solve problems, #moral and values, #randy is idiot, #illogical, #menacing

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A female employee says, "I have the results of the Employee Personality Type Preferences." Dilbert, sitting at a table with Randy and Alice, says, "Remind me again why we're doing this." The female employee says, "Your teamwork will be better when you understand that you have different styles of thinking." Randy sits and listens as the female employee says to Dilbert, "For example, Dilbert prefers to use logic to solve problems." Dilbert looks at Randy as the female employee says, "But Randy relies more heavily on morals and values to solve problems." Randy's eyes grow wide as Dilbert says, "That sounds like a fancy way of saying Randy is an idiot." Dilbert and Alice look at Randy as Randy says, "Oh, yeah? Well, I might be an idiot but you're illogical." Dilbert and Alice pat Randy on the shoulders as Randy says, "That didn't sound as menacing as I had hoped." Dilbert says, "It's okay." Alice says, "We understand."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #advising, #teenagers, #parents, #Parenting, #tattoo, #piercing, #terrorism, #boundaries

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Carol: My teenager wants to pierce his ear. Should I let him? Dilbert: Sure. It's only a tiny hole and it heals. Carol: Good point. Narrator: Next day. Carol: Now he wants a small tattoo. Dilbert: Well, if it doesn't show... Narrator: Next week. Carol: Now he wants to grow a human ear on his back, the way scientists did with that rat. Dilbert: As long as he can cover it with a shirt when he gets a job, I see no problem. You have to let him live his own life. Narrator: One week later. Carol: He joined ISIS. Dilbert: I forgot to mention that I'm no good at giving advice.

Phone Is More Interesting

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Phone Is More Interesting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #criticism, #date, #dinner, #Entertainment, #men and women, #texting, #smartphone

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Tina: I just realized I enjoy using my phone more than I enjoy interacting with you. I mean, this thing is amazing, whereas you haven't found a way to entertain me all night. Dilbert: Maybe I'll grow on you. Tina: "Now he sounds like a tumor. LOl!"

Bead Of Sweat

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Bead Of Sweat - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #idea, #nervous, #office workers, #sickness, #virus, #paranoia, #pandemic

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Man: What do you think of my idea? Dilbert: To be honest, I didn't hear a word of it. I spent the whole time being worried about that bead of sweat on your forehead. Man: It's warm in here! Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be a thousand yards in that direction.

No More Id Badges

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No More Id Badges - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #employment, #i.d. badge, #employees, #freedom, #tattoo, #sarcasm, #face mask

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boss: the company is considering no longer requiring employees to wear i.d. badges. asok yelling: yes! freedom! dilbert: too too. hold... hold... boss: ...in favor of permanent forehead tattoos. dilbert: always wait for the second part.

Non Disclosure Denied

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Non Disclosure Denied - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sales, #sales personnel, #nondisclosure agreement, #product, #new, #waste, #refusal, #sign, #company, #vendor, #lawyer, #idiot

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salesman: i'll need you to sign a nondisclosure agreement before i can show you our new product. dilbert: you wasted a trip here because i won't be doing that. the fact that you even asked me to sign an nda tells me your company is incompetent. dilbert: i prefer giving my business to a vendor who can show me their product without getting a lawyer involved. salesman: you could sign it without having your lawyer review it. dilbert yelling: do i look like an idiot? salesman holding out nda toward dilbert. dilbert: well? do i? salesman: only form your chin to your forehead area.