Had A Pencil Comic Strips - Page 9
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Coworker: What's a good time to get together and discuss my project? Dilbert: Never. Every interaction I've had with you has been a waste of time. I have no reason to think it will be different in the future. Coworker: Sheesh! How did civility die? Dilbert: Maybe you invited it to a meeting.
Wally says to Dilbert, "I see it's your turn to work with Floyd." Dilbert replies, "Yeah." Wally says, "He lived on my back for a year, sharing my successes without contributing." Wally says, "I had him lanced." Wally asks, "Does it leave a big hickey?"
A man says to George Lucas, "There's a dog here to see you, sir. He may be on to our operation." Lucas asks Dogbert, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I came to find out if the news on television is all faked by your special effects company." Lucas and Dogbert sit at a table. Lucas says, "Actually, we don't do ALL of the news here. We had to sub-contract the Dan Quayle stuff to the Muppets." Dogbert says, "I knew that."
Dogbert and George Lucas walk down a hallway in a movie studio. Lucas says, "My first film was the 1969 moon landing." Lucas shows Dogbert a globe, an astronaut doll and a model rocket. Lucas says, "The spacemen were actually Barbie dolls wrapped in aluminum foil." Lucas plays with two dolls and says, "Help! Ken! Help! I'm out of air! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" Dogbert says, "I guess you had help with the writing."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Wally enters his cubicle and asks, "May I borrow your pen for a minute?" Dilbert says to his pen, "Farewell, little friend. You have always been true. May the wind be at your back. I . . . I . . . Love you . . ." Wally hands the pen back to Dilbert and says, "Uh . . . Could I borrow one which you've had less of a personal relationship with?" Dilbert asks, "How about Brenda?"
Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Do you know the difference between an electric razor and a toaster?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "No??? Geez, it must take you a long time to shave. Do you burn your face a lot?" Dilbert says, "I thought you were telling a joke." Dogbert asks, "How long have you had this problem?"
An elf holding a top hat says to Dogbert, "Fear us, dog! We elves are magic. Watch this!" The elf pulls a giant rabbit out of the hat. The other elves run away. The elves are bruised and their clothes are tattered. An elf says, "I think we had the dog's fear and respect . . . Until the bunny made Karl eat a bug."
Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."
The judge says, "Mister Dogbert, you made a good argument in your petimony suit against Dilbert . . ." The judge pounds his gavel and says, "But Dilbert had some good points, too . . . I call it a tie." The judge thinks, "Third tie this week . . . Maybe it's me . . ."
Dilbert sits on the floor across from a man in a robe. The ascetic says, "You must renounce all physical pleasure before you can achieve true cosmic joy." Dilbert replies, "Renounce it?! Heck, I don't think I've ever HAD a physical pleasure!" The spiritual advisor says, "And you must shave your head . . ." Dilbert says, "Oh, I get it; then you can rub the little stubble as it grows in!"