Half Snack Comic Strips - Page 9
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134 Results for Half Snack
View 81 - 90 results for half snack comic strips. Discover the best "Half Snack" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 24,
2006
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday August 04,
2006
Friday June 01,
2007
Tags #elbonian, #factory, #million dollars, #competition, #office, #rebel attack
Transcript
Dilbert: Rebels have threatened to attack our Elbonian factory unless we give them a million dollars. The Boss: "That's outrageous! Tell them their competition offered to not attack us for half that price." Negotiations begin Elbonian: "That wouldn't even cover our costs of not attacking!"
Friday June 15,
2007
Tags #simulation, #productivity, #workforce, #pandemic
Transcript
The Boss: Run a simulation of our productivity if we lost half our workforce to a pandemic. Dilbert: "Should I assume we lose the productive people or the people who ask other people to run pandemic simulations?" The Boss: "Try both ways?" Dilbert: "Okay. I'm done."
Sunday June 11,
2000
Tags #cut budget, #technology installation, #adequate budget, #unethical vendors, #huge purchase, #free stuff, #no hidden costs, #huge purchase later
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "I cut your budget in half." Dilbert replies, "How can I do a technology installation without an adequate budget?!" The Boss says, "Try being unethical with our vendors." Dilbert answers, "What?" The Boss replies, "It's easy." The Boss continues, "Tell them we might make a huge purchase. Later..." The Boss goes on to say, "...If they give us a bunch of free stuff now." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If it makes you feel better, wait until they lie first." The vendor representative says to Dilbert, "And there are no hidden costs." Dilbert says to the representative, "Um...we might make a huge purchase later."
Saturday February 10,
2007
Tags #low balling gaols, #coming year, #decompose chair, #sounds easy, #different chair
Transcript
The Boss: I'm concerned that you might be low-balling your goals for the coming year. For example, this one says you will 'decompose in your chair'. That sounds easy. Dilbert: Not really. Half of the time I'm in a different chair."
Monday August 13,
2012
Tags #sales personnel, #cold calling, #video chat, #sales job, #computer, #selling on line, #skype, #technology
Transcript
Boss: You're supposed to be cold calling sales prospects. Wally: I am. I'm using a video chat site to randomly meet potential customers. This guy is excited to see me, and that's half of the sales job right here.
Wednesday May 14,
2008
Tags #out of touch, #feeling, #the boss, #secratry, #favor, #takes personal day, #intern
Transcript
The Boss: Where are those copies I asked you to make? Asok: I delegated that task to Carol. Carol: This seems like a good time to take a personal half-day. ask: I have a good feeling about this."
Saturday June 28,
2008
Tags #entire budget, #empire building, #work on trendy things, #vote to cut budget
Transcript
Filling in for the Pointy-Haired Boss A man says, "Does your department need its entire budget this year?" Dilbert says, "no, we'll waste most of it on empire building and appearing to work on trendy things." The man says, "All in favor of cutting this guy's budget in half?" Dilbert says, "I call do-over! Do-over!"
Monday November 08,
2010
Tags #consultant, #role model, #angry, #sociopath, #annoyed, #business
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You're doing a great job as a role model." Dogbert says, "Half of your employees have already turned into pudgy sociopaths." Dogbert says, "And they're quick to anger."