Happy Airline Comic Strips - Page 9

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186 Results for Happy Airline

View 81 - 90 results for happy airline comic strips. Discover the best "Happy Airline" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #direct flight, #aisle seat, #upgrade, #first class, #overhead bin, #north korea, #non smoking, #anti aircraft fire

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Dilbert sits at his desk and says into the telephone, "I'd like a direct flight . . . Aisle seat . . . And an upgrade to first class if possible." The airline ticket agent replies, "The best I can do is to put you in an overhead luggage bin . . . With one stop in North Korea." Dilbert asks, "Is it non-smoking?" The ticket salesperson replies, "That depends on how accurate the anti-aircraft fire is."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marilyn vos savant, #smartest human alive, #often flier program, #phone comapny, #who saves most?, #brain scarred

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Dilbert sits at a table with stacks of brochures in front of him. Dogbert stands on the table and says, "This is Marilyn Vos Savant, the smartest human alive." A woman stands behind Dogbert. Dogbert says, "She will help you understand your airline 'Often Flier' program." Marilyn looks at a brochure and says, "I'm stumped." Dilbert asks, "After this, could you tell me which phone company saves me the most money?" Marilyn replies, "My brain's trying to escape; you scared it." Her brain crawls out her ear.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mail sent, #bag, #often flier status, #seat upgrade, #overhead bin, #disaster averted, #colicky baby convention, #other passengers

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Dilbert stands at the Happy Airlines check-in counter. He hands the ticket agent a sack and says, "This bag contains all the mail you've sent me about my 'Often Flier' status." Dilbert continues, "I'll trade everything in the bag for a seat upgrade. I'm currently assigned to an overhead bin." The woman looks in the bag and says, "Okay." Dilbert hands his boarding pass to an agent and thinks, "Whew! Disaster has been averted." The man standing behind Dilbert holds two infants. He asks the woman behind him, "Are you guys going to the colicky baby convention too?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #industry survey, #our industry, #hugh technology, #textile workers, #teen agersm dead people

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The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We did an industry survey to see how your salaries compared to the average." The Boss continues, "We didn't get the numbers we hoped for, so we broadened the definition of 'our industry.'" Wally says, "I'm so happy to be in the industry of 'high technology, textile workers, teen-agers, and dead people.'" Dilbert says, "I feel overpaid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #bearer, #bad news, #doctor, #six months to live, #nose job, #mix up, #hospital, #medical

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A man lies in a hospital bed with a bandage on his nose. Dogbert stands on the bed and says, "Your doctor asked me to tell you that you have six months to live." The patient says, "There must be a mistake. I'm here for a nose job." Dogbert checks a document and says, "Oh, you're right . . . I wondered why that last guy was so happy when I told him he'd have one huge nostril for the next forty years."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #bearer bad news, #wally fired, #videos, #stealing stuff, #one percent raise

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Dogbert says, "Wally, your boss asked me to tell you . . ." Dogbert shouts, "You're fired!!! And they have secret videos of you stealing stuff!!!" Wally looks shocked and his tie stands up straight. Wally covers his eyes and says, "This can't be true." Dogbert replies, "It's not. But watch how happy you are when I tell you about your one percent raise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two week notice, #arrogant obstructionist, #bore, #good bye lunch, #quitting, #everyone happy

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Ed tells Wally, "I just gave my two-week notice." Wally screams, "Yes! Yes! The arrogant obstructionist bore is history!" Ed says, "Everyone seems to be taking this rather well." Wally shouts, "Count me in for the goodbye lunch!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech conference, #attractive woman, #brush hand, #key, #concierge, #hotel, #check in, #men dominated

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Dilbert goes up to the airline desk at the airport. Woman behind the counter says, "Before I check you in, let me explain something.." Woman says, "You're here for a technology conference. I am the only attractive woman who will talk to you for days. I am not free for coffee later." Dilbert asks, "Can I brush your hand when you give me the key?" Woman says, "I'll toss it to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #airplane, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Food, #flight attendant, #passengers, #man, #woman

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit in an airplane. Dogbert says, "I'm starving. Is there a meal on this flight?" Dilbert replies, "It's probably just a snack. The airline is cutting back on frills." Dogbert asks, "When you say 'snack,' do you mean a small but well-balanced culinary experience?" Dilbert answers, "It's peanuts. We get nine peanuts apiece." Dilbert adds, "And a soda . . . But not a whole can, just a little cup . . . Unless they cut back on that too." The flight attendant tells Dilbert, "Now we just drink a soda ourselves and burp your seat number." The flight attendant drinks a can of soda. The flight attendant burps, "7B." Dilbert says, "It's actually kind of refreshing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #grossly underpaid, #type of work, #current duities, #compensation review, #true story, #not qualified, #subordinate is qualified

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Caption: Catbert: Evil H.R. Director. Catbert sits behind a desk, a women sits on the other side. The woman says, "I'm grossly underpaid for the type of work I do now." Catbert says, "Write a description of your current duties. I'll be happy to do a compensation review." Caption: Based on a true story. Catbert says, "Sadly, it appears you're not qualified for your own job. But one of your subordinates is." Woman's eyes widen.