Hard Part Comic Strips - Page 9

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503 Results for Hard Part

View 81 - 90 results for hard part comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Part" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #medical procedure, #attractive to opposite sex, #remove body part, #sounds painful

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There's a medical procedure that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. "The doctors would remove part of your body and replace them with the parts from an attractive guy." "It sounds painful." "Not if you do it all at once."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2005's comic on:


Tags #last doughnut, #last half, #xenos, #switch, #hard liquor

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Dilbert: No one ever wants to tae more than half or whats left of the last doughnut. Thats why I call it xenon doughnut. HEE HEE! Waitress: I heard some of that, do you want to switch to hard liquor? Woman: Hurry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special

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I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2006's comic on:


Tags #security software, #upgrade it, #hackers, #steal identity, #bank accounts, #destroy hard drive, #cjoices

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DilMom "Your security software is out of date..." "Uh-oh." "Would you like to spend the rest of your natural life trying to figure out how to upgrade it?" "Erk!" "Or would you prefer to let hackers steal your identity, drain your bank accounts and destroy your hard drive?" "I need more choices!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2007's comic on:


Tags #career counselor, #flower arranging, #billionaire, #work hard, #defeat purpose, #no work, #doesn't want to work

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Dogbert, career counselor "What would you like to do with your degree in...flower arranging?" "I'd like to be a billionaire." "Are you willing to work hard?" "That would sort of defeat the purpose."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #impractical plan, #philosophy, #hard, #worth doing, #walk around, #hop on one foot, #reasoning capabilities

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "This plan is impractical." The Boss says to Dilbert, "My philosophy is that if it isn't hard, it isn't worth doing." Dilbert responds, "That's easy to say." Dilbert continues, "So according to your philosophy, you shouldn't have said it." Dilbert then says to the Boss, "And it's easy to walk around. Maybe you should hop on one foot." Dilbert continues, "Or would it be better to recant your absurd philosophy..." Dilbert says to the Boss, "And bow before superior reasoning capabilities?" The Boss leaves Dilbert hopping one one foot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #actors & actresses, #ignorance (knowledge), #laziness, #opinions, #informed opinions, #hard data, #life is a lie

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Wally: I like to have opinions. But not informed opinions. It takes so much work to get informed that it defeats the whole point of having an opinion in the first place. Dilbert: What exactly do you think is the "point" of having an opinion? Wally: The point is that it feels good. Dilbert: That's totally nuts. Wally: Oh, is it? Unless you have hard data to back up that comment, it was nothing but an uninformed opinion. That felt good. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! You're starting to make sense! Wally: Your whole life is a lie.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #career advice, #work hard, #destroy helath, #personal life, #happiness advice, #psychology

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Asok: Alice, do you have any valuable career advice? Alice: Work so hard that it destroys your health and crowds out any chance of having a personal life. Asok: Wouldn't that make me... unhappy? Alice: You didn't ask for happiness advice.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #redendancy, #hard work, #fired, #card board boxes

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Boss: Ted, the merger has made your job redundant. As a reward for your years of hard work, feel free to use one of our cardboard boxes to get your junk out of here. Uh-oh. It looks like we forgot to hide the good boxes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 30, 2012's comic on:


Tags #delusional sociopath, #executives, #gardener, #goat writing autobiograohy, #hallucinations, #hard work, #intuition, #magical thinking, #non-fiction, #vision, #regrets

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Dogbert: I finished ghostwriting your autobiography. CEO: "I was ridiculously lucky. The End." I was hoping you'd include something about all of my hard work. Dogbert: You didn't work any harder than your gardener, and he lives in his truck. CEO: What about my vision and intuition? Dogbert: My first draft had a chapter on your hallucinations and magical thinking. But I covered that ground with the title: "I'm A Delusional Sociopath And You Can Too." CEO: I'm starting to regret paying you in advance.