Head Of Market Research Comic Strips - Page 9

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759 Results for Head Of Market Research

View 81 - 90 results for head of market research comic strips. Discover the best "Head Of Market Research" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 1995's comic on:


Tags #posted for success, #huge earnings, #market share, #agenda, #raises difficult year, #united way, #two agenda items, #oopsie

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The Boss, Carol, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "We're poised for success. We expect huge earnings and increased market share!" Looking at a document, the Boss says, "Next on the agenda . . . There will be no raises because it will be a difficult year . . ." The Boss says, "Carol, I thought I told you to put the 'United Way' update between those two agenda items." Carol says, "Oopsie."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1991's comic on:


Tags #christmas, #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #duck, #sled, #santa, #fell, #dropped, #head, #alive, #jolly, #elf, #holiday, #season, #myself, #gifts, #stole, #buried, #backyard, #wars, #venison, #taste

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The caption says, "'Twas the night before Christmas . . . " Santa Claus and his reindeer fly over the rooftops. The caption says, "When a duck hit the sled . . ." A duck crashes into Santa. The story continues, "Santa fell out . . ." Santa dives toward the ground. The caption continues, "And dropped on his head . . ." Santa crashes through the roof of a house. The caption continues, "He was barely alive, this jolly old elf . . ." Dogbert stands next to the fireplace. Santa lies on the floor near the Christmas tree. The caption continues, "'Twas the holiday season, so I thought of myself . . ." Dogbert says, "Hey! I don't see any gifts here!" The caption continues, "So I stole his hat and buried him in the back yard. The end." Dogbert walks through the back yard wearing Santa's hat and holding a shovel. Dogbert sits in his chair holding a book. He says, "Um . . . This is interesting, Dogbert." Dogbert replies, "The sequel is titled 'Elf Wars: The Taste of Venison.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #operating system, #dominate market, #dogbert 2000

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Dogbert sits at a table with a client and says, "If you plan to remain in the computer business you'd better bundle the 'Dogbert 2000' operating system with every unit you sell." Dogbert continues, "Otherwise, after I dominate the market you'll be last on my list to receive new products!" The man says, "You remind me of somebody . . ." Dogbert responds, "It's the glasses, isn't it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 18, 1996's comic on:


Tags #bag of toys, #Dogbert, #dogbert 2000, #huge market, #operating system, #plastic important, #software, #software developers, #silicon, #engineering

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The caption says, "Dogbert meets with software developers." Dogbert sits at a table with a laptop that is hooked up to an overhead projector. Dogbert says, "Note the huge market for software that runs on the 'Dogbert 2000' operating system." Dogbert reaches into a bag and says, "But who cares? The important thing is that I brought a bag of toys." As the software developers play with the toys, Dogbert thinks, "Some say the computer industry is built on silicon. I think foam and plastic are equally important."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 1996's comic on:


Tags #revised standard employment agreement, #only company, #pudding head, #attitude, #lawyes, #rabies, #psychology

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The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "Here's the revised standard employment agreement. Sign it or be fired." Dilbert reads, "This agreement is between the Company (hereafter referred to as 'The Only Company That Would Ever Hire You') and you (hereafter called 'Pudding Head')." Dilbert says, "It seems to have a bit of attitude." The Boss responds, "Our lawyers turned on us. I suspect rabies."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1996's comic on:


Tags #angels dance in head, #fault, #huge number, #jeopardizing, #prototype, #quality assurance, #schedule, #tree falls forest

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The Boss says to Ratbert, "In the short time you've worked in quality assurance, you've found a huge number of flaws in our prototype." Ratbert replies, "That's my job!" The Boss continues, "You're jeopardizing our schedule. The entire project will fail and it's all YOUR fault." Ratbert asks, "Why is it MY fault?" The Boss replies, "If a tree falls in the forest . . . And we've already sold the tree . . . Does it have quality?" Ratbert asks, "How many angels can dance on your head?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #year 2000 problkems, #computer problems, #head spun, #dint explode, #left money, #table

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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Here's my invoice for fixing your 'Year 2000' computer problems." The Boss screams so loud that Dogbert is thrown from the office. Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, ". . . So his head spun, but it DIDN'T explode?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. I guess I left some money on the table."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #window cubicle, #naps, #on walls head

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Catbert peers into Wally's cubicle and says, "Hey, Wally, I pulled some strings to get you moved to a window cubicle." Catbert continues, "It's for my own benefit. I plan to take naps while lying in the sun on top of your head." Catbert sleeps on Wally's head. Wally says, "Every day this job teaches me I can get used to anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 1997's comic on:


Tags #rather the consulatant, #sit on head, #play bulldozer, #too much power

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Ratbert tells the Boss, "Now that you're under my spell, I'd like to sit on your head and play bulldozer." The Boss stares straight ahead and holds his arms out. Ratbert sits on the Boss's head and pulls on his hair. He says, "Make some engine noises with your lips!" Ratbert laughs as the Boss makes noises. Alice asks Dilbert and Wally, "Do you think our consultant has too much power?" Dilbert replies, "Nah. He's barely moving that file cabinet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 1997's comic on:


Tags #loud conversation, #cubicle, #goaway, #pound head, #strange noise, #alice threatens

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A man and a woman stand outside Alice's cubicle. Alice says, "I hate to interrupt your loud conversation outside my cubicle . . ." Alice continues, "But it you don't go away, I'll pound your inconsiderate head so far into your torso that you have to drop your pants to say hello." Wally asks Dilbert, "Did you just hear a strange noise?" Dilbert says, "It sounded like, 'Melp! Melp!'" Nearby, a man's head protrudes from his pants.