Head One Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Head One

View 81 - 90 results for head one comic strips. Discover the best "Head One" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #cat, #not optimist, #phrased better, #rakberts head, #stomp on it, #yank off, #bob the dinosaur, #rat, #dog, #animals

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"Bob, I'll yank the cat off of Ratbert's head and you stomp on it!" "Yank" "Stomp" "I could have phrased that better." "I'm not an optimist anymore."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bob the dinosaur, #double fee, #triple fee, #infinity plus one, #childish men, #hired to beat, #tail, #project requiremnets

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Dilbert: I hired Bob the dinosaur to beat you with his tail until you give me the project requirements. MAN: HA! I'll double your fee if you thump Dilbert instead. Dilbert: I 'll triple the fee! Dilbert: He can't really pay you "infinity" plus one. BOB: I wonder how much this is on an hourly basis.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1994's comic on:


Tags #continue seeing dilbert, #pass my test, #dogs are superior, #she devil

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Liz sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Liz, if you're going to continue seeing Dilbert, you'll have to pass my test." Dogbert continues, "Question one: give seven hundred reasons why dogs are superior to cats." Liz pats Dogbert on the head and says, "Well, the first six hundred reasons have to do with the fact that you're cuter." Dogbert wags his tail and says, "Fingernails! She-devil!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1995's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #down sizing, #acts like a freind, #misery of people, #bat your head, #business

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Dogbert stands on a desk and tells the Boss, "I hired a new director of Human Resources to handle the downsizing." Dogbert continues, "I needed somebody who acts like a friend but secretly delights in the misery of all people." Catbert stands on a monitor and says to an employee, "We need to talk, Paul. But first I'm going to bat your head around and scratch you." Paul responds, "Hee hee!! That's so cute!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #standardize, #one type computer, #mac user, #deviant users, #macintosh, #unix, #holy wars, #gustav

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Ratbert, the Boss and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ratbert says, "I recommend standardizing on one type of computer for the office." Ratbert continues, "We must identify and eliminate the deviant users of Macintosh, Unix and . . . God help us . . . OS/2 Warp." Dilbert glares at him. The caption reads, "The Holy Wars Begin." Ratbert interrogates a man being held by police. Ratbert says, "Don't lie to me, Gustav! You're a stinkin' Mac user!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #guy in marketing, #alter dna, #structure, #animal, #weasel, #notice change, #marketing guys, #helix, #one helix

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Dilbert and Wally are eating lunch. Dilbert says, "I told a guy in marketing that I programmed his computer to alter his DNA structure." Wally laughs, "Hee Hee." Dilbert continues, "He thinks he'll turn into some kind of animal." Wally suggests, "Tell him you set it to 'weasel.' It'll take longer to notice any change." The guy in marketing says to Alice, "Tell me the truth, Alice, can Dilbert reprogram my DNA?" Alice responds, "Yeah. You marketing guys only have one helix."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1995's comic on:


Tags #bowels of accounting, #dilbert trapped, #head backwards, #brain explode, #paradigm shit

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The caption reads, "Dilbert is trapped in the bowels of accounting." Dogbert says to a demonlike clerk, "I understand you have Dilbert in there. Free him, or else . . ." The clerk responds, "Else what?" Dogbert replies, "Or else I will put this cap on my head BACKWARDS! Your little hardwired accounting brain will explode just looking at it." Wearing the cap backwards, Dogbert approaches Dilbert who is still hanging over the pit. Dilbert asks, "What was that popping sound?" Dogbert answers, "A paradigm shifting without a clutch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #meets goal, #quarter, #save head, #big imporvement, #save money, #haircut, #double goal, #less experinced, #employees, #business

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The Boss stands in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert and announces, "If the department meets its goal for the quarter you can shave my head!" Dilbert says, "That would be a big improvement." Wally says, "He's trying to save money on a haircut." Someone asks, "If we double our goal can we iron your shirt, too?" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #alice sits boss, #approve expense voucher, #creature, #eats snacks, #security guard, #problem

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Dilbert stands in front of Alice's desk. Alice has a crown on her head and is holding a document in her hand. She says, "I will approve your expense voucher on one condition." Alice continues, "You must slay the creature who stalks the office at night and eats our hidden snacks." Dilbert holds a baseball bat in one hand and opens a drawer with the other. A mouse peers out of the drawer. Dilbert says to him, "It has to be either you or the security guard." The mouse answers, "Slay him first and see if the problem stops."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1995's comic on:


Tags #planes going down, #one parachute, #harvard mba, #dog, #knapsack, #old joke, #ceo grabs, #animals

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Dogbert stands in the cabin of the corporate jet wearing a parachute on his back. He says to the CEO, "It looks like the plane's going down and there's only one parachute." The CEO looks shocked. The CEO grabs the parachute and screams, "Give it to me!!! I'm a CEO with a Harvard MBA. You're a dog!!" Dogbert and the CEO fall through the air wearing packs on their backs. Dogbert says to the CEO, "That's my knapsack." As some fruit and loose paper falls out of the CEO's pack, he says, "Old joke."