Headcount Down Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

568 Results for Headcount Down

View 81 - 90 results for headcount down comic strips. Discover the best "Headcount Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hypocrisy, #performance review, #projects, #redo, #winding down, #work ethic, #more responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My projects are winding down and I'd like to take on more responsibility. Boss: Ooh. That's a problem because I just finished your performance review and it says you don't take initiative. Dilbert: I guess you need to redo that. Boss: That would be one way to play it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer programmers, #email, #email down, #guy in hopsital, #ouija board, #limited rescources

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Email is down again. Mordac: The only guy who can fix it is in the hospital. Dilbert: So... if he dies, we can never again have email? Mordac: Maybe. Dilbert: Is there any way I can reach him? Mordac: Wait a week and try a Oiji board.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #investor meeting, #emailed, #powerpoint slide, #dumbed down, #technical stuff, #non engineers, #it be good, #no questions, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I emailed you the PowerPoint slide for your investor meeting. I dumbed down the technical stuff for you non-engineers. Boss: "Technology: It Be Good." Dilbert: I wouldn't take questions.

Pipe Down, Coffee Intern

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Pipe Down, Coffee Intern - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #board meeting, #change, #coffee, #demotion, #ego, #ideas, #Promotion, #intern, #new ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.

Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #technology, #robot, #nanobot, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.

People Get Dumber When Sitting Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #intelligence, #dumb, #belief, #furniture, #new age, #science, #metaphysics

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.

Wally Didn't Write It Down

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Didn't Write It Down - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #project, #excuse, #procrastinate, #delay

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.

Laying Down Suppressive Fire

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Laying Down Suppressive Fire   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rumor, #aspersions, #accusing, #accusation

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: If Ted complains about me not doing my job, keep in mind that he steals from the company. And he only has time for stealing because sometimes he takes time off from all of his lying. Dilbert: What was that all about? Wally: I was laying down suppressive fire.

Reducing Headcount By Attrition

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reducing Headcount By Attrition - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #injury, #layoff, #osha, #safety

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #ventriloquism, #information overload, #libertarian, #taxidermist, #hand hole, #work, #like puppet, #creepy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."