Headcount Down Comic Strips - Page 9
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570 Results for Headcount Down
View 81 - 90 results for headcount down comic strips. Discover the best "Headcount Down" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday February 10,
2014
Tags hypocrisy, performance review, projects, redo, winding down, work ethic, more responsibility
Transcript
Dilbert: My projects are winding down and I'd like to take on more responsibility. Boss: Ooh. That's a problem because I just finished your performance review and it says you don't take initiative. Dilbert: I guess you need to redo that. Boss: That would be one way to play it.
Tuesday April 15,
2014
Tags computer programmers, email, email down, guy in hopsital, ouija board, limited rescources
Transcript
Dilbert: Email is down again. Mordac: The only guy who can fix it is in the hospital. Dilbert: So... if he dies, we can never again have email? Mordac: Maybe. Dilbert: Is there any way I can reach him? Mordac: Wait a week and try a Oiji board.
Thursday May 01,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, investor meeting, emailed, powerpoint slide, dumbed down, technical stuff, non engineers, it be good, no questions, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I emailed you the PowerPoint slide for your investor meeting. I dumbed down the technical stuff for you non-engineers. Boss: "Technology: It Be Good." Dilbert: I wouldn't take questions.
Friday March 20,
2015
Pipe Down, Coffee Intern
Tags board meeting, change, coffee, demotion, ego, ideas, Promotion, intern, new ideas
Transcript
Asok: Is it wise to ride your coffee intern to a board meeting? Wally: Pipe down, coffee intern. If you were capable of thinking like a leader, you would be a VP too. Dilbert: Demoted already? Wally: The board does not like new ideas.
Saturday August 29,
2015
Nanorobots In Wally Slow Down
Tags laziness, work ethic, technology, robot, nanobot, motivation
Transcript
Catbert: The nanobots we injected into your bloodstream to make you a better employee are slowing down. Your blood is demotivating the nanorobots and making them useless. You're killing them! Gaaa!!! It's a massacre in there! Wally: They had it coming.
Tuesday October 27,
2015
People Get Dumber When Sitting Down
Tags intelligence, dumb, belief, furniture, new age, science, metaphysics
Transcript
Dilbert: Is it my imagination or do people get dumber when they sit down for a meeting? Or would you say you are equally dumb no matter what you are doing? Boss: Well, I'm no scientist, but I'm pretty sure feng shui is part of the answer.
Thursday March 30,
2017
Wally Didn't Write It Down
Tags deadline, project, excuse, procrastinate, delay
Transcript
Man: Did you finish the prototype? Wally: I didn't start because I had some questions. Man: Why didn't you ask me those questions a month ago? Wally: I was waiting until I saw you. Man: Fine... what are your questions? Wally: I just realized I didn't write them down.
Monday January 01,
2018
Laying Down Suppressive Fire
Tags rumor, aspersions, accusing, accusation
Transcript
Wally: If Ted complains about me not doing my job, keep in mind that he steals from the company. And he only has time for stealing because sometimes he takes time off from all of his lying. Dilbert: What was that all about? Wally: I was laying down suppressive fire.
Wednesday July 04,
2018
Reducing Headcount By Attrition
Tags big business, injury, layoff, osha, safety
Transcript
CEO: We need to reduce headcount, but we plan to do it by attrition. We're loosening our safety standards and letting nature do the rest. Voice: Gaaa!!! Ouch!!! CEO: You might want to keep your headphones on for a week or so.
Wednesday April 06,
2011
Tags managers & supervisors, ventriloquism, information overload, libertarian, taxidermist, hand hole, work, like puppet, creepy, business
Transcript
Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."