Higher Level Employment Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

165 Results for Higher Level Employment

View 81 - 90 results for higher level employment comic strips. Discover the best "Higher Level Employment" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #discussion, #hijack conversations of subordinates, #imperious interuptus, #load and testing

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: ... then we can do the load testing and... Boss: I'm invoking the right of imperious interruptus. In layman's terms, it is the right of all bosses to hijack the conversations of subordinates. I will now turn my back to you and speak with Alice as if you don't exist. Do not leave. Do not chime in, just awkwardly stand there. CEO: Imperious interruptus! Behold my power to make two underlings stand awkwardly while I hijack this conversation! Have you heard my speech about how we're not level conscious at this company?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2011's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #taxes, #warren buffet, #tax rate, #subsidizing mansion, #condescending, #show appreciation, #ceo, #high tax, #worker

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Warren Buffett says your tax rate is higher than mine. Thank you for subsidizing my mansion, I really appreciate it. A good leader always shows appreciation to his underlings.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #language, #thinking, #project management, #life cycle, #abtraction, #weightless, #management process

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #announcing, #staff, #reduction, #expenses, #paid, #year, #risky, #cut

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and a woman, "Our CEO is announcing a ten-percent staff reduction to cut expenses." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't our CEO get paid twenty million dollars this year?" The Boss replies, "Yes . . ." The Boss continues, "But risky jobs deserve higher pay." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: didn't you say WE were getting cut?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #children, #power, #great book, #direction, #tv, #listings, #flipping

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "Although raising children is difficult, be assured that you will get help from a power greater than yourself." Dogbert types, "Teach your children about the higher power and about the 'Great Book' which will give them direction." A baby sits in a chair in front of a television. The father says, "They're called 'tv listings.' Without them, you're just flipping."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #testosterone, #level, #tailgate, #problem, #trying

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally shows Dilbert a pickup truck and says, "Maybe it's because of my high testosterone levels, but I couldn't resist getting my pickup jacked up." Wally says, "I thought it would be more frightening to the people I tailgate." As he jumps into the truck and wiggles his legs, Wally says, "The only problem is that you can't let people see you trying to get in it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #man, #experiment, #volunteers, #laptop

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "Day one of the Bioworld experiment is off to a rocky start." Dilbert types, "The volunteers have no edible plants and the oxygen level is dropping." The volunteers hold signs that say "Help" and "Let us out." Dilbert types, "Fortunately, most of the volunteers are ex-car salespeople, so we remain emotionally uninvolved." Dogbert says, "Look how they spelled 'oxygen.'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job, #application, #Promotion

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk and shouts, "I'm a loud dog! Give me a job! You must obey me because I'm loud!" The Boss says, "Okay okay." Dogbert says, "That was too easy. There must be something wrong with the job. It must be an entry level job . . ." Dogbert stands on the desk and kicks something at the Boss. Dogbert shouts, "I want a raise!! Promote me, you imbecile!!" The Boss thinks, "Bad trend."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #salary, #employee, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, ". . . Our pay is too low, and there's no clear leadership. And we want parking spaces." Dogbert presses a level and the man falls through a trap door in the floor. There is a flushing noise. Dogbert thinks, "All things considered, I think I enjoy them more when they're disgruntled."