Home Address Comic Strips - Page 9

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411 Results for Home Address

View 81 - 90 results for home address comic strips. Discover the best "Home Address" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking, #telephones, #public address button, #calls, #talking to doctor, #talking dirty, #practice

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Carol: You keep pressing the public address button on your phone when you make calls. We can't tell if you're talking to your doctor or you're really, really bad at talking dirty to your wife. Boss: I use one to practice the other.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #work ethic, #growth hacker, #web apps, #perfect job, #growth hackers, #do nothing, #work from home

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Wally: We need a "growth hacker" for our web apps. I think I'd be perfect for that job. Boss: I've heard of growth hackers, but I have no idea what they do all day. You could do nothing and I wouldn't know the difference. Wally: And I could work from home.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #holidays, #laziness, #trust, #work ethic, #telecommute, #bring kid to work, #work from home, #distrust, #corrodes motivation, #toxic environment, #ruin naps

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Wally: Is it okay if I telecommute on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day? I'll show my kid how I work from home. Boss: How would I know you were working? Wally: What??!! That is exactly the sort of distrust that corrodes the motivation of employees! How can I feel good about my job in this toxic atmosphere? Boss: Okay, okay. You can work from home on "Bring Your Kid To Work" Day. Dilbert: You don't have a kid. Wally: I hear they ruin your naps.

Wally Working In The Cloud

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Wally Working In The Cloud - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #laziness, #the cloud, #work ethic, #software, #issues, #cell coverage, #home, #doing nothing, #engineering

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Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?

Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot

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Wally Replaces Himself With Chatbot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laziness, #working from home, #work ethic, #technology, #bot

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Wally: I got approval to work from home. My chatbot will answer all of my emails and text messages. Dilbert: Chatbot answers would be useless. Wally: I hope so. Otherwise it wouldn't sound like me.

Two Choices For Work Space

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Two Choices For Work Space - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #office workers, #cubicle, #distraction, #work from home

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Boss: We're trying to decide if it's better to have an open office plan with too many distractions to be productive... or soul-crushing cubicles that will make every employee envy the dead. Dilbert: Maybe everyone can just work from home? Boss: And miss all of this?

Home Speaker Prototype

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Home Speaker Prototype - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #robot, #speaker, #invention, #sentience

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Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

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Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #speaker, #alexa, #google, #blackmail, #extortion, #spying, #secrets

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #address, #address of meeting, #anger, #driving, #gps, #inattentive, #lost, #meeting, #naviagte, #navigation system, #snap, #using phone, #business

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Dilbert: Whats the address for our meeting? The Boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you where to turn, Dilbert: With all due respect you are not a reliable navigation system. You will be using your phone and you will forget to tell me when to turn. Dilbert: If I point out your inattentiveness you will snap at me,. Dilbert: I wil be seething with anger for the entire drive, while wondering if I am already lost and don't know it. or you could tell me the address now. The boss: You don't need it. I'll tell you when to turn. AN HOUR LATER Dilbert: must... not drive...over...cliff....

Go Hard Or Go Home

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Go Hard Or Go Home - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #inspirational quote

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the boss: your inspirational quote of the day is... next frame is outside of office building: "go hard or go home." the boss in empty conference room: i shouldn't have made it sound like a choice.