Hoping It Goes Comic Strips - Page 9

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209 Results for Hoping It Goes

View 81 - 90 results for hoping it goes comic strips. Discover the best "Hoping It Goes" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #evil hr director, #offered stock incentives, #working hard enogh, #beating customers

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Catbert, now acting as the Evil H.R. director, aks Dilbert "Would you work harder if we offerec stock incentives." Dilbert responds, "Yes." Catbert asks, "So you admit you're not working hard enough now?" Dilbert replies unsure "Umm..." Catbert goes on to ask Dilbert, "Lastly, are you still beating up customers?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 2000's comic on:


Tags #huge severance package, #last four emplyees, #get fired, #can retire

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Ken says to Wally and Dilbert, "I got huge severance packages from the last four employers. Ken proudly goes on to say, "If I get fired one more time I can retire." The Boss approaches Ken from behind and says, "Ken, we need to talk." Ken snaps his finger and shouts, "Ka-ching!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #without input, #lied to me, #skipped that step, #already assigned blame, #for failure

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Dilbert and Alice are seated together at a table when the Boss walks up and hands Dilbert a piece of paper. He says to Dilbert, "I finished the project plan without your input." As Dilbert reads the paper, the Boss goes on to say, "You would have lied to me anyway, so I just skipped that step." The Boss sits at the table with Dilbert and Alice and says, "I've already assigned blame for failure, but don't worry, it's just preliminary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2000's comic on:


Tags #cep, #obscenely wealthy, #guest house, #build house, #speech writer, #workers, #made him rich, #bragging, #condescending, #truth

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Ed stands at the podium and says, "As CEO, I thank you for making me obscenely wealthy." Alice, Wally and Dilbert continue to sit and listen. Ed goes on to say, "Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks." Ed looks down at his paper, thinking "I need a new speech writer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #weaknesses need improvement, #become invisible, #blurry, #multitasking, #too often

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The Boss asks Dilbert, "Do you have any weaknesses that need improvement?" Dilbert replies, "Sometimes I work so fast that I become invisible." Dilbert goes on to say, "If I seem blurry right now, it's because I'm multi-tasking." The Boss thinks to himself, "Once a year is way too often for this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #500 with tax, #complains about tax, #morale improvement award, #morale display

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The Boss says aloud, "The five hundred dollar morale improvement award goes to Ed." Shocked, Ed looks at the check and screams "Gaa!! It's only $240 after taxes!!!" Wally says to Dilbert, "So that's what good morale looks like." Dilbert replies, "Apparently we've had it the whole time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2000's comic on:


Tags #company concierge, #alibi, #lye, #a barrel, #police, #break you, #legal

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An employee says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I need an alibi." The employee continues, "The police will try to beat the truth out of you, but don't let them break you!" The employee goes on, "I also need lye...and a barrel...better yet, make that two barrels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #disaster recovery plan, #help! help!, #hope to have budget

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Alice says, "Our disaster recovery plan goes something like this..." Alice points to a picture of a man screaming "Help! Help!" Alice continues, "Someday we hope to have a budget."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 2000's comic on:


Tags #escalate, #escalator, #marketing guys, #misunderstands, #need to escalate, #goes to store

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Alice says to the Boss, "The marketing guys are stalling. You need to ecalate." The Boss leaves his office thinking to himself, "Must escalate." The Boss is in a department store riding an escalator, thinking to himself "I'll never understand how this helps."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 30, 2000's comic on:


Tags #flunking all classes, #son, #computer job, #fill in blanks, #people don't like

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Dilbert is standing in front of Carol the Secretary's desk. She says to him, "My son is flunking all his classes. I'm hoping he can get a job involving computers." Dilbert asks, "Carrying them?" Back home, at the end of the day, Dilbert confesses to Dogbert, "People don't like it when you fill in the blanks in their stories."