Hr Dept Comic Strips - Page 9

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View 81 - 90 results for hr dept comic strips. Discover the best "Hr Dept" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 1996's comic on:


Tags #be competetive, #carpets, #Catbert, #evil director, #evil policies, #foot sizing program, #no compalints, #reduce wear and tear, #tail twitching, #wear shoes smaller

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Catbert stands at his desk thinking, "My tail is twitching . . ." Catbert thinks, "That can only mean it's time to write some more evil policies." Catbert types, "To: all employees. Subject: new policy." Dilbert gets the e-mail message and reads, "Employees must wear shoes that are one size smaller than their feet." Alice reads, "This will reduce wear and tear on carpets by five percent." Catbert thinks, "This is my favorite part." He types, "We must do this to be competitive." A woman enters Catbert's office and says, "I'm a reporter for 'Evil HR Policies Weekly.' Do you have any success stories?" Catbert purrs. The caption says, "This is how industry practices are born." The journalist asks, "Has anyone complained about the 'Footsizing' program?" Catbert replies, "I haven't listened to a single complaint."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 1997's comic on:


Tags #bad clothes, #casula clothes, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #explain logic, #hawaiian shirt, #impact on earnings, #one casual day

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Catbert sits at his computer, prring as he types. He thinks, "Another evil policy. I'm a happy cat." The Boss reads from a memo and says, "Casual clothes will not be allowed this Friday..." The Boss continues, "...Because we had Hawaiian shirt day on Wednesday." Everyone has question marks floating above their heads. Alice says, "Um... can you explain the logic here?" The Boss says, "We're only allowed one casual day per week." Wally says, "Why?" The Boss says, "If we had TWO casual days, obviously it would have an impact on earnings." Wally says, "Does stupidity have an impact on our earnings, too, or just bad clothes?" The Boss says, "We're only sure about bad clothes." Dilbert says, "Alice, you're killing us with that outfit." Alice glares.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 1997's comic on:


Tags #marketing dept, #engineering dept, #other engineers, #careless mistake, #need nets, #rope, #tranquilizer darts, #askengineering

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Marketing Department: A guy walks by a table and says, "Hey! It's a magazine!" He reaches for it. Engineering Department: A loud speaker says, "Danger! A magazine has been discovered in marketing!" Alice looks scared. Alice pokes her head into Dilbert cubicle and says, "Marketing has a magazine!" Dilbert gasps and his hair stands on end. Dilbert heads for the War Room. He says, "Gather the other engineers. We must get that magazine." Alice says, "Check." Dilbert says to Alice, Asok and Wally, "We think is was a careless mistake by someone in the mail department." Dilbert says, "As you know, there is nothing more dangerous than a marketing person with a little bit of knowledge." Dilbert points to a diagram on the dry-erase board. He says, "We know where the magazine will be read. We need nets, rope and traquilizer darts." The marketing guy starts to enter the men's restroom as a darts flies towards his neck. He thinks, "I'll have to ask engineering to build one of these space staions..."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr dircetor, #vacation policy, #more vacation days, #restroom breaks, #count as vacation, #porcelain cruise

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Catbert enters a meeting. Dilbert and the Boss are already there. Catbert, sitting between Asok the Intern and Dilbert, begins, "There's been a slight change in the vacation policy." Asok asks, "Are we getting more vacation days?" Catbert responds, "You must be new here." Catbert continues, "As you know, all vacation time must be used in the year it is earned." Catbert then says, "I realize this is not always convenient. So I've decided to be flexible." Catbert: "From now on, any time you spend in the restroom will count as vacation." The meeting is over. As Dilbert leaves, he says to Wally, "We should complain." Wally counters with, "If you need me, I'll be taking a porcelain cruise."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #research dept, #study, #value of research, #just lie, #no research, #industry salaries, #two oclock, #quitting time, #role model

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Alice sits next to The Boss and a mandattan place.. The Boss points out, "Our special guest is Tod, from our researced paper." Tod says, "We recently did a study to access the value of our previous research." Tod hands out papers and says, "Sadly, all of our past work was either ignoed or totally misintrepreted by idiots.." Tod says, ".. such as yoursleves." Tod says, "So from now on, rather that do research we''ll just lie. Tod says, "Play along and and we'll make sure the 'industry salaries' study goes your way." Tod says, "Well, it's two o'clock, and that's quitting time in the research department." Wally tells Dilbert, "" You're not my role mdoel anymore!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1999's comic on:


Tags #cat bert, #hr dorector, #nput of employees, #morons, #sing loudly, #thinking, #pinball wizard

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Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Asok, "I value the input of all employees..." Catbert says, "....including the morons. Although in those cases, I cover my ears and sing loudly>" Asok says, "So I was thinking maybe..." Catbert begins to sing, "He's a pinball wizard"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #boss treats, #furniture, #dangerous predent, #new position, #tried crounching

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Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director" Allan is in Catbert's office. He has a lapm strapped to his back. Allan says. "My boss treats me like furniture." Catbert says, "I'd help you, but it might set a dangerous precedent." Allan says, "I need a new position." Catbert says, "Have you tried crouching?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 1999's comic on:


Tags #transfer sales dept, #scapegoat, #make useless pordcuts, #low sales, #good prodcuts, #perfect wrld

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The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #blame others, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #oversized head, #problem, #tight pantyhose, #low morale

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Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Alice, "Alice, you blame others for your low morale." Catbert points at Alice and says, "BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR TIGHT PANTYHOSE!!" Alice says, "I don't think so." CAtbert says, "Then how do you explain your oversized head?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1999's comic on:


Tags #kill coworker, #employee manual, #award for cost saving, #evil hr director

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Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Alice sits in Catbert's office. Catbert says, "Alice, did you kill another co-worker?" Alice says, "Yes." Catbert looks in the Employee Manual and says, "But you did not discriminate, sexually harass, steal or take drugs. hmmmm.." Catbert says, "It looks like I have to give you an award for your cost saving idea." Alice says, "Thank you."