Hundred Yards Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

95 Results for Hundred Yards

View 81 - 90 results for hundred yards comic strips. Discover the best "Hundred Yards" comics from Dilbert.com.

Employee Body Cams

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Employee Body Cams  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #against ceo, #misinterpret warmness, #record interactions, #sexual harrasment, #wear body cams, #complaints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we've had seven hundred complaints about sexual harassment in the past month. From now on, employees must wear body cams to r record every interaction. Alice: Weren't all of this e complaints against our CEO? The boss: People misinterpret his warmness.

Unforseen Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Unforseen Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #building apps, #completion date, #problems, #unforseen

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: It will take four weeks to build the app, unless there are unforeseen problems. how often do we have unforeseen problems? Dilbert: One hundred percent of the time. Then whats the point of estimating a completion date? Dilbert: I was hoping to make you stop talking but t dint work.

Aggressive Littering

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Aggressive Littering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #plea, #charges, #littering, #murder, #rich people, #discrimination

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.

Smartphone Syndrome

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Smartphone Syndrome - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cell phone, #smart phone, #compulsion, #addiction, #attention, #distraction, #mental health, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: You've got a bad case of smartphone syndrome. One of hundred percent of your mental and physical problems are caused by using your phone too much. I don't feel as if I'm getting through to you. Alice texting: She's still talking. LOL.

Slavery Or Work

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Slavery Or Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #Wally, #Dilbert, #alice, #succeed, #nitpick, #slavery, #choice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We can only succeed if every one of you gives one hundred percent. Wally: I don't mean to nitpick, but wouldn't that technically be slavery? The Boss: No, because you have a choice. Wally: Didn't you just say the other choice is failure?

When Will Ted By Done

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
When Will Ted By Done - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #test, #data, #ted, #working, #done, #range

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: When will I get the test data? Dilbert: I don't know Ted is working on that. The Boss: When do you think he will be done? Dilbert: I know. I'm not Ted. The Boss: Just give me a range. Dilbert: Between one day and seven-hundred years.

Complaining About Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Complaining About Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #computer software, #engineering, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I took over Ted's software project. Everything he did was inefficient and stupid. Okay, we're done here. I'm checking you off my list. Alice: How many people are you complaining to? Dilbert: I trimmed the list to three hundred.

Not In My Town

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Not In My Town - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #engineering, #office, #office workers, #nuclear

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i engineered a totally safe design for nuclear power plants. ceo: how sure are you that it is safe? dilbert: one hundred percent. ceo: just keep it away from my town. dilbert: maybe it wasn't an engineering problem after all.

Lawyer Can't Be Too Careful

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lawyer Can't Be Too Careful - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #lawyers, #office, #agreement, #legalese

View Transcript

Transcript

company lawyer: i made seven hundred suggested changes to the agreement. dilbert: you have turned a good income opportunity into a flaming cesspool of impenetrable legalese. company lawyer: you can't be too careful. dilbert: i think you just proved we can.

Wally Monetizes His Pet Status

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Monetizes His Pet Status - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #criticism, #employees, #managers & supervisors, #money, #office workers, #bribe

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I hear you're our boss's new pet employee. Please don't tell him all of the bad things I have said about him behind his back. I'll give you a hundred dollars if you keep quiet. Wally: I knew I could monetize this.