Hurts To Ask Comic Strips - Page 9

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412 Results for Hurts To Ask

View 81 - 90 results for hurts to ask comic strips. Discover the best "Hurts To Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 27, 1992's comic on:


Tags #questions, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #newsletter, #clueless, #people, #technical, #marvel, #desktop, #publishing, #immense, #wisdom

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Dogbert sits at a desk typing. Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and asks, "What's this?" Dogbert replies, "I'm starting my own newsletter for clueless people." Dogbert continues, "Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom." Dilbert asks, "How do you know who the clueless people are?" Dogbert replies, "They ask a lot of questions."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 16, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #training, #company, #overpriced, #inferior, #products, #quotas, #illegally

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Dilbert sits at a table with training materials in front of him. The speaker says, "Welcome to sales training." The man continues, "As you know, our company makes over-priced, inferior products. We try to compensate by setting high sales quotas." The instructor continues, "We don't ASK you to act illegally, but it's pretty much the only way to reach quota. Okay, that's it for training. Any questions?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ted, #dog, #computer, #working

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Ted sits at his desk. Dilbert asks, "What are you up to, Ted?" Ted replies, "I'm working like a dog lately." Dilbert walks away thinking, "I'd better not ask." Ted scratches his head with his foot.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #employees, #valuable, #asset, #the boss, #afraid, #carbon, #paper

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Dilbert, Wally, Ted and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I've been saying for years that 'employees are our most valuable asset.'" The Boss continues, "It turns out that I was wrong. Money is our most valuable asset. Employees are ninth." Wally says, "I'm afraid to ask what came in eighth." The Boss replies, "Carbon paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #eliminated, #tedious, #consuming, #process, #computer

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Dilbert shows the Boss new computer hardware and tells him, "For only twenty-five thousand dollars I've eliminated many tedious and time-consuming processes." The Boss asks, "What would be an example of one of those tedious and time-consuming processes?" Dilbert replies, "Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had more computer stuff . . ." The Boss thinks, "Next time don't ask."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #pants, #twelve-inch, #waist, #inches, #secret, #retail, #success, #merchandise, #shop, #harder, #retail store

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Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #alice, #compulsive, #grabbing, #ocd

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Alice walks down the hall thinking, "I am Alice the Compulsive Grabber." Alice thinks, "When I see things that are not right I must grab them." Alice grabs Dilbert's tie. Dilbert says, "In an hour or so I may have to ask you to stop that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Does anybody have any questions about our plan? Ask me anything - there are no 'stupid' questions." A man asks, "If you crossed the international date line on your birthday, would you still get presents?" The Boss thinks, "Oh great . . . There ARE stupid questions and I don't know the answers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #job security

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The Boss says to Dogbert, who is wearing a sorcerer's hat, "I want you to read my boss's mind and tell me what he wants my group to work on." Dogbert asks, "Why don't you just ask him?" The Boss replies, "Ask him?? I can't do that. His calendar is booked for months. And I never understand what he says anyway." Dogbert says, "He thinks you're an idiot, but it's easier to pay you than to fire you." The Boss whistles and says, "Whew! Job security."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1994's comic on:


Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money

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The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"