Ignorant Rat Comic Strips - Page 9
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Dilbert sits on a pillow listening to the radio. Ratbert walks in and says, "I'm having a crisis of self image." Ratbert asks, "Do I, as a rat, add any value to the world? Or do I simply deplete its resources, then die?" The musical notes coming from the radio stick to Ratbert's body. He says, "Oh . . . Sorry . . . I sucked all the music out of the room."
Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Bob, sometimes I wonder if there's a place in this world for a sensitive rat like me." Ratbert continues, "I can't live the hollow, meaningless shell of existence that others so ironically call 'life.'" Ratbert concludes, "I want to make a difference to people." Bob says, "Well, you ruined MY day."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert asks, "Is it possible that you're prejudiced against rats because you once had a bad experience with a rat?" Dilbert asks, "Just out of curiosity, what would be a GOOD experience with a rat?" Ratbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "I believe I've been insulted!" Dilbert says, "That was kind of a good experience."
Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert sits on the desk. Ratbert says, "Sometimes I think I'm not reaching my full potential as a rat." Dilbert replies, "You're right. In the Middle Ages, disease-carrying rats wiped out half of the human population of Europe." Ratbert says, "I think I've got a little temperature. Feel my forehead." Dilbert says, "Face it, your glory days are past."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "You know, as a rat I'm far more likely to survive a major environmental calamity." Ratbert continues, "And there's no shortage of potential disasters - you've got global warming, ozone depletion, air pollution . . ." Ratbert asks, "Can I try on one of your shirts?" Dilbert looks angry.
Dilbert packs his suitcase. Ratbert says, "I'll go with you on your trip to Elbonia. I can be your bodyguard." Dilbert replies, "It's not a good place for a rat. The mud is quite . . ." Ratbert yells, "You think I'm not tough enough? I'll show you!!" In Elbonia, an Elbonian points at a bump in the mud next to Dilbert and asks, "And THAT'S your bodyguard?" Ratbert says from under the mud, "I don't like the tone of your voice."
Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Listen to me, Bob. Individually, we're nothing but a rat and a dinosaur . . ." Ratbert continues, "But if we team up we'd have your mighty strength plus my . . . Uh . . . My . . ." Bob asks, "Brain?" Ratbert replies, "No, that doesn't sound right."
Dogbert aims a video camera at Ratbert. Dilbert asks, "What are you filming?" Dogbert replies, "Ratbert got his own cable tv channel." Dogbert explains, "Now that cable tv has a thousand channels they're desperate for original programs." A man and a woman sit on a couch watching television. The man points the remote control at the tv and says, "Back in the six hundreds I saw a rat slapping his head to a Barry Manilow tune." The woman says, "That's worth a second look."
Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says, "I can't remember if I'm left-handed or right-handed." Ratbert says, "I live in fear that I'll be walking in the park, someone will toss me a ball and I'll look . . . awkward." Ratbert lies underneath a ball. The person who threw the ball says, "Nice catch, rat." Ratbert asks, "Really? It didn't look awkward?"
Dogbert stands on the desk in front of the computer. Dogbert says, "We're being deluged by e-mail!" Dogbert says, "The male writers heavily favor whacking Ratbert with the magazine." Dilbert stands over Ratbert holding a rolled-up magazine. Dogbert continues, "And we have a number of helpful suggestions involving power tools." Dilbert replies, "Boys will be boys."