Ignored Email Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

235 Results for Ignored Email

View 81 - 90 results for ignored email comic strips. Discover the best "Ignored Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

No Need To Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Need To Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, technology, video call, voice call, email, texting, zoom, meeting, update, team, laptop, cell phone, link, progress

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'll schedule a zoom call with the whole team tomorrow to give the update. dilbert: or you could tell me tomorrow, and i'll tell the rest of the team on our noon zoom call. boss: um, okay. i'll send you a zoom link tomorrow. dilbert: does our call need to be a video call? can we do a voice call? boss: well, yes, i guess we could just do a voice call. dilbert: do we need to talk, or can you just send me an an email? boss: i suppose i could just send you an email. dilbert: okay. we're making progress. now, have you heard of "texting"?

Keyboard Conscience

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Keyboard Conscience - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, keyboard, conscience, human, hello, reconsideration, mean, email, working remotely, work, remote, empathy, monster, feelings, jerk, send

View Transcript

Transcript

conscience voice coming from dilbert's keyboard. keyboard: hello, human. i'm your keyboard's conscience. you should reconsider sending such a mean email. working remotely has caused you to devolve into an empathy-free monster who cares nothing for the feelings of other. dilbert typing: send keyboard: now you're just being a jerk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dual core processors, brain, disconcerting, email answer

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "To answer your question faster, I'll need to use the two halves of my brain like dual core processors." Asok says, "I'm only warning you because it might be disconcerting to watch." Woman says, "How bad could it be?" Asok says, "Wah-ah-geeee!" Woman says, "Maybe you can e-mail me your answer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anxiety, confused, emails accounts, internet & world wide web, might snap, pin code, too many passwords, user names, chaos, crazy, lose it, mental, breakdown, overload, technological, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, proactive, send email, bad time management, creating illuson, sarcasm, crazy boss, business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "You need to be more proactive." Dilbert says, "I can only appear to be proactive if you stop telling me to do things I've already planned." The Boss says, "How am I supposed to know what you plan to do every minute?" Dilbert says, "I could send you an e-mail every time I have a thought." The Boss says, "I don't have time for that!" Dilbert says, "Apparently your bad time management is creating the illusion that I'm not proactive." Dilbert says, "I'll take the liberty of signing you up for a time management class." The Boss says, "Don't do that!" Dilbert says, "So...I should not be proactive?" The Boss says, "Just do what I want before I know I want it." Dilbert says, "I hope the next thing you want is sarcasm."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags absent mindedness, annoyance, status upadte, multitask, one task, doubling rate of failure, useless blob of carbon

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags debates, discussion, ognorant, arrogant, reading comprehension, logic

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Your email was ignorant and arrogant. Dilbert: How do you know it isn't just a reading comprehension problem on your end? Let's use logic to see which one of us is right. Bad decision 2. Bad decision 3.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags correspondence, electronic mail, genius, unfinished product, writing, hallmark of genius, unexpected use of time

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You didn't answer my email. Dilbert: I tried to read it but the signal-to-noise ratio was too low. Boss: So it's sort of a technical problem? Dilbert: Okay.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computers & peripherals, electronic mail, reschedule, installation, defense, miscommunication, email, denial

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I told you to reschedule the installation date. Dilbert: That conversation never happened. Maybe you planned to say it and then the thought morphed into a false memory. Boss: I'm sure I emailed you. Dilbert: You might want to pick a defense that's less checkable.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conversation, embarrassment, news letter, leadership, sound stupid

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Good news: I signed up to receive a free leadership newsletter by email. I know it's good because it's written by some guy who used to have a job. Stop making everything I say sound stupid!