Insulting Answer Comic Strips - Page 9

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195 Results for Insulting Answer

View 81 - 90 results for insulting answer comic strips. Discover the best "Insulting Answer" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 28, 2002's comic on:


Tags #answers, #code language, #engineers, #justified, #no understanding, #questions, #roi, #policy

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The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "From now on, everything we do must be justified by R.O.I." Dilbert asks, "What's the R.O.I. for this new policy about calculating R.O.I.?" The Boss says, "I said 'from now on.'" Dilbert points at The Boss and says, "What about your answer? No R.O.I."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2002's comic on:


Tags #boss booked, #highest ratio, #unavailabilty, #usefulness, #sound insulting, #do math, #human resources, #business

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Alice asks The Boss, "How about any Tuesday this year?" The Boss replies, "No, I'm booked." Alice says, "You have the highest ratio of unavailability to usefulness I've ever seen." The Boss asks Catbert, "Does that sound like an insult?" Catbert replies, "If I could do math I wouldn't be working in human resources."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2002's comic on:


Tags #dont email, #cucbilce, #manage and review, #reveiwed, #can't release

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't e-mail your answer to my boss until I've reviewed it." Dilbert responds, "Um... Okay." Dilbert asks, "May I walk to my cubicle now or would you like to review the route first?" The Boss replies, "Now that you mentioned it, I can't release."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2002's comic on:


Tags #coffee with boss, #one hour, #quality time, #rather staple skunk, #snarky remarks, #cutting insulting

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The Boss says to Carol, "I call my idea 'Coffee with the Boss.' Each employee will get one hour of quality time with me." Carol responds, "I'd rather staple a skunk to my forehead and go to a trade show for banjo makers." Carol continues, "And yet, it's still better than working, so count me in." The Boss replies, "That's the spirit!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 29, 2002's comic on:


Tags #face for wrinkles, #face is killing me, #inject deadly poison, #botox, #dermal fillers, #botchulism

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Dilbert is sitting at his computer. A female coworker approaches and asks, "Do you think I should inject a deadly poison in my face to hide wrinkles?" Dilbert responds, "It's only fair that you poison your face, because your face is killing me. Hee Hee Hee!" The coworker says, "The correct answer is 'You don't need to.'" Dilbert replies, "Was your mother a shar-pei?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #mouse training, #important, #meeting, #question, #silly, #pick me, #answer, #diagram, #computer mouse, #business

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Headline: Mouse training. The instructor asks the class, "Who wants to share an opinion on why mouse training is important?" Wally raises his hand enthusiastically and says, "Ooh-ooh! Pick me!" The instructor says, "Yes, Wally." Wally responds, "No one?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #investment baker, #hired wesel, #media questions, #stock holders, #good for stcokholders, #parking lot

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Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert introduces a weasel to The Boss, "I hired a weasel to teach you how to answer media questions." The weasel says, "No matter what the reporters ask, always give the same answer 'It will be good for stockholders.'" The Boss is answering media questions. A reporter asks, "Is it true that you ran over a stockholder in the parking lot?" The Boss responds, "It'll be good for him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #take call, #excuse me, #inconsiderate guts, #crushing head, #imagine

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Dilbert is in a meeting. His coworker's cell phone rings. The coworker says, "Excuse me while I take this call." Dilbert replies, "Okay." Just as the coworker is about the answer his phone, Dilbert says, "Excuse me while I hate your inconsiderate guts." The coworker turns away annoyed and says into his phone, "No, nothing important." Dilbert continues, "Excuse me while I imagine crushing your head."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 2003's comic on:


Tags #customer references, #parking lot, #ring

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Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. Dilbert asks, "Do you have any customer references I could call?" The salesman hands him a piece of paper and says, "Right here." Dilbert calls the number, "Beep, beep, boop, beep." The salesman's cell phone rings. The salesman's cell phone continues to ring. Dilbert says, "No answer." The salesman replies, "Try again when I'm in the parking lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #cell phone not working, #short range, #same room, #tv remote control

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The Boss stops Wally and Dilbert in the hallway and asks, "Why isn't my cell phone working?" Dilbert responds, "That's a short-range cell phone. You need to be in the same room with the person you call." The Boss, Asok, and Alice are sitting. The Boss has his phone up to his ear. He thinks, "Answer the stinkin' phone, Alice." Asok asks, "Why are listening to a TV remote control?"