Jump Off Roof Comic Strips - Page 9

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585 Results for Jump Off Roof

View 81 - 90 results for jump off roof comic strips. Discover the best "Jump Off Roof" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #off color email, #75 poeple, #thought funny, #one compalined, #punished, #sensible, #punish complainer

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: "I understand that you forwarded an off-color e-mail to many people." "Seventy-Five people thought it was funny but one person complained, so you must be punished." "Wouldn't it make more sense to punish the freak who complained?" "Do I look sensible?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #main prodcut, #coming off patent, #profits will plunge, #shallowm, #paid for there inventions

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Our main product is coming off patent. "Profits will plunge and so will my bonus. It's not fair." "Call me shallow. But I enjoy getting paid for other people's inventions." "SHALLOW!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 1999's comic on:


Tags #young dilbert, #mother, #kitchen denied permission, #skateboard, #construction site, #jumped off cliff, #credibility, #Family

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A young Dilbert is in the kitchen with his mom and asks, "Mom, can I go skateboarding at the construction site?" Mom replies, "No." Dilbert asks, "Why not? Everyone else does it." Mom asks, "If everyone jumped off a cliff, would you do that? Dilbert replies, "Well, that would depend on many factors, including height, training and equipment." Dilbert goes on, "But if 100% of the people who jumped off cliffs said they enjoyed it, as in my skateboard example... "...Then I would conclude that it was safe." Dilbert continues, "A better question might have been, "If everyone wore clothes, would you do that?"..." Dilbert outside, walking off with his skateboard thinking, "Her credibility gets worse every day."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 01, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #downsized, #free dvd, #live off land, #shoplifting, #running fast

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Don't worry about being downsized after the reorganization." "Downsized employees will get my free DVD that teaches you how to live off the land." "The key to successful shoplifting is running very fast."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 02, 2005's comic on:


Tags #no landing strips, #jump out of plane, #airplane, #mud, #cushion, #fall, #flap arms

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"Elbonia has no landing strips, so you'll have to jump our of the plane." "Try to flap your arms and aim for a plump Elbonian to cushion your fall." "Dang." "Airplane."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #bungee jump, #ceo, #dogcart consults, #reckless adventurer, #volcano, #worst performer

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Dogbert Consults "Your CEO is the worst performer in the entire Fortune 500." "Your best bet is to convince him to become a reckless adventurer." "Tell me again why I'd want to bungee jump into an active volcano?" "Because you can!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2006's comic on:


Tags #team building exercise, #left die, #crying, #shake it off, #boss, #apathetic

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"You said it was a team-building exercise and you left me in the middle of the desert to die!" "Shake it off." "You wouldn't think that would work, but it does!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 19, 2006's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #stupidity, #leaping off page, #simple, #won't work

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Dilbert and Wally refuse to support my project plan. Will you take a look at it? "GAAA!!! The stupidity is leaping off the page and burrowing into my brain!!!" "Does anyone around here known how to say a simple 'This won't work'?" gurgle

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 20, 2007's comic on:


Tags #close the gap, #good at something, #jump ahead, #strategy and capabilities

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The Boss: We need to find a way to close the gap between our strategy and our capabilities. Wally: Why don't we just pretend we're good at something and call it our strategy.Sorry...Didn't mean to jump ahead.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #mergers & acquisitions, #google, #100 million, #engineers, #jump ship, #ceo, #buy out

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CEO: Google offered to buy our company for $100 million just to get our engineers. Dilbert: Huh. I wonder if I can convince the other engineers to jump ship today and share $100 million amongst us. CEO: What did he just say? Dilbert: Nothing. Just thinking out loud.