Less Follow Thorugh Comic Strips - Page 9
307 Results for Less Follow Thorugh
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Share December 19, 2004's comic on:
"I have a job interview. Wish me luck." "No." "If you get extra luck then there might be less available for me." "I don't think it works that way." "I can't take that chance." "Tell me, Dilbert, who would you consider your hero?" "Albert Einstein." "That should be safe." "Oh, really? He was an outspoken critic of war. We design missle guidance systems." "How about Jeffrey Dahmer? No?" "I won the lottery!"
Share August 11, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says to The Boss, "Both plans are technically impossible." The Boss responds, "Which one costs less?" Dilbert says, "Um... I don't see how that matters, but plan one is cheaper." The Boss reports to his manager, "Plan one is the best." The manager responds, "I'll take it to our V.P." The manager is meeting with an associate. The associate says, "I like plan two." The manager replies, "Great minds think alike!" The associate approaches the V.P. The V.P. says, "Excellent. Ask one of our engineers to present plan two to the board." The Boss approaches Dilbert and says, "Guess what." Dilbert says to Wally, "Every day I make the world a little bit worse." Wally responds, "What's it like to make a difference?"
Share November 03, 2002's comic on:
Tina says to The Boss, "We need to show more corporate responsibility." The Boss replies, "Okay, I'll cut your salary and give the extra money to poor people." Tina says, "I was hoping we could hose the stockholders, not me." The Boss responds, "That would hurt my stock options." He pauses and then asks, "What if we pollute less?" Tina exclaims, "Yes, yes! That's what I'm talking about. We could pollute less!" The Boss says, "Okay, take a bucket to the river and see how much of our sludge you can get out." Tina asks, "Where would I put it?" Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert asks, "Is it just me or has the coffee improved?" Wally exclaims, "Zesty!"
Share April 29, 2013's comic on:
Boss: Asok, the secret to success is to do what you love and stick to it. Asok: I like eating bread. Boss: Exactly! Follow your passion. Six Months Later Asok: Maybe I should try something else. Boss: Quitter.
Share April 30, 2013's comic on:
Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers
Share October 20, 2013's comic on:
Tags #dating, #internet & world wide web, #social media cosultant, #one like, #less than ten thousand, #insulting, #elbonian, #inflate your like count, #socialize, #wine glasses, #bar wine, #kiss, #relationships
Dilbert: What do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a social media consultant. Dilbert: I like you. Woman: Phhht. You're giving me one like? Anything less than ten thousand likes is an insult. Dilbert: I'll be right back. I hired an Elbonian to artificially inflate your like count. Elbonian: Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like. Dilbert: I am not paying that guy.
Share October 17, 2013's comic on:
Boss: You didn't handle this the way I told you. Dilbert: In my defense, you're under-informed and less clever than me. I was hoping he'd say, "Good point," but it went another direction.
Share November 09, 2013's comic on:
Dilbert: I like my job. But I don't like any of the tasks... or any of the people... I don't like the commute... and I'm paid less than I'm worth... and I'm not making the world a better place. Dogbert: Are you sure you like your job? Dilbert: Why do you ask?
Share December 13, 2013's comic on:
CEO: We need to foster a culture of innovation. Does anyone have an idea how we can do that? Dilbert: You could give us less work and you could stop criticizing every idea we have. CEO: Does anyone have a suggestion that isn't ridiculous?
Share January 10, 2014's comic on:
Wally: It boosts my oxytocin levels without the need for human contact. Alice: You didn't invent that. I've had a family of chipmunks living my hair since the eighties. Chipmunk: There goes our privacy. Alice: Less talking, more rubbing!