Low Cost Comic Strips - Page 9

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284 Results for Low Cost

View 81 - 90 results for low cost comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need me, #page me, #soar flares, #low tide, #humidity, #equinoxes, #high tide

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Wally says to The Boss, "If you need me, just page me." Wally continues, "I'll cal you right back unless solar flares stop your page from getting through." Wally finishes, "And of course you'll have some blockage during the high tide, low tide, humidity, and most of your equinoxes."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost cutting, #job for a day, #dream of grave, #less motivating

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The Boss approaches Carol with another man. The Boss says, "Our department won the cost-cutting contest, so our CEO will do your job for a day." The CEO sits in Carol's cubicle and says, "I feel like a failure.. darkness fills my days... I dream of the grave." The CEO cries, "I'll never be loved again!!" The Boss says, "This is less motivating than I'd hoped."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #description, #projected course, #impossible, #uncertainty principle, #understand project, #know cost

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"I need a description of your project and its projected cost." "That's impossible." "The project uncertainty principle says that if you understand a project, you won't know its cost, and vice versa." "You just made that up." "That doesn't make it wrong."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority

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Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tech solution, #simple, #cost fortune, #internal approvals, #vast herds, #management dolts

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Dilbert: "The technical solution is simple and inexpensive." "But it would cost a fortune to get internal approvals because vast herds of management dolts would get involved." "So I should just do it, right?" The Boss: "Did you just call me a vast herd?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #unpleasant work enviornment, #applicants, #miss old days, #dental plan

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The boos: I can't find any highly trained job applicants who want an unpleasant work environment and low pay. Catbert: I miss the old days where a man would build a skyscraper with his bare hands just to make you stop hitting him with a shovel. The boss: Did they have a dental plan? Catbert: yes. they called it duck!!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

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Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart wrecking company, #special, #srushing, #new car, #parking lot, #cost, #monthly plan, #free model of car, #crush little one, #crush boss car

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Dogbert stands on Wally's desk, wearing a hardhat. Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Wrecking Company." Dogbert continues, "I'm running a special on crushing your boss' new car in the parking lot." Wally asks, "What does it cost?" Dogbert: "The first one is free." Dogbert adds, "If you're satisfied, I hope you'll consider my monthly plan." Wally is standing at the window with Dogbert, pointing outside. "It's the red one. He brags about it every day." The Boss is standing in front of Wally and Dilbert, holding up a model car. The Boss explains, "And when you spend that much, the dealer gives you a free model of your car!" There is a car horn heard off in the distance. Wally is slipping Dogbert a stack of bills. He adds, "And next month can you crush the little one on his desk too?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slow computer, #uogarde, #cost benefit analysis, #vice president approval

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Dilbert: "My computer is too slow. I need to upgrade it." The Boss: "I need a cost benefit analysis including the cost of all alternatives, and vice president approval." Dilbert: "It was easier to get a second job and pay for the upgrade myself."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #arranged amrriage, #low standards, #sister, #love, #has sister, #Family, #relationships

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"My relatives want me to have an arranged marriage." "If they find someone who's totally hot and has low standards, ask if she has a sister." "What about love?" "How can you not love that?"