Lower Opinion Comic Strips - Page 9

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159 Results for Lower Opinion

View 81 - 90 results for lower opinion comic strips. Discover the best "Lower Opinion" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 1994's comic on:

Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money

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The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1994's comic on:

Tags #market research, #market segment, #wild fungi, #pencil erasers, #head rubbed, #piece of paper

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"I'd like your opinion for my market research, Ratbert." "Me?!!" "I've lumped you in the market sgetment that includes wild fungi and pencil erasers." "Question one: would you enjoy having your head rubbed vigorously on a piece of paper?" "Who wouldn't?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1994's comic on:

Tags #job performance, #reflects on boss, #balance of power, #get fired, #low job perfromance, #wally hold hostage

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Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I suddenly realized that MY job performance reflects on YOUR career." Wally continues, "The balance of power has shifted. Unless I get what I want, I'll lower my performance until you get fired." The Boss responds, "Ha! There's no way you could lower your job performance." Wally says, "Curse your eyes!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1995's comic on:

Tags #laptop in case, #anything lighter, #delete files, #technically

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The Boss carries a laptop in a case. He says to Wally, "This laptop computer weighs too much. Do we have anything lighter?" Wally asks, "Why don't you just delete files to lower the weight on that one?" As he works on the laptop the Boss says, "That's a thought." Wally says, "Technically, I only asked why not."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 1995's comic on:

Tags #catbert the hr director, #invent illogical policies, #annoy emplyees, #diabolical dress code, #question sanity, #casual clothes, #wally insane

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Catbert is at his desk. He thinks, "I think I'll invent some illogical policies to annoy employees." Catbert continues thinking, "My diabolical new dress code will make them question their own sanity." Reading a document, Dilbert tells Wally, ". . . So, casual clothes DON'T lower our stock value . . . but only if worn on Fridays . . . unless somebody sees us . . . Got it?" Wally puts his hands on his head and replies, "I think I'm insane."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1995's comic on:

Tags #nest paper towels, #call 911, #never know, #would have worked

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Dilbert is standing in front of the copying machine. Reaching inside the copier, a man says, "Here's the problem. We've got a whole nest of paper trolls." The man yells as he is being pulled into the machine, "AAIIEE!" Dilbert thinks, "If I call 911 now I'll never know if the lower paper tray would have worked."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1995's comic on:

Tags #bent over, #chairs, #key boards, #lower back pain, #management kick ass, #new policy, #on floor, #only explination, #uncomfortable

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Dilbert watches as Wally sits in his chair and bends over to reach his keyboard on the floor. Wally says, "This new policy of keeping our keyboards on the floor is ridiculous!" Dilbert says, "The only possible explanation is to make us all stooped over so it's easier for management to kick our behinds! Ha ha ha!" Wally laughs. As the Boss peeks into Wally's cubicle, Dilbert looks shocked and says, "Wait a minute . . . That IS the only explanation." Wally says, "Cover me; I'm going to the printer."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #bird, #Dilbert, #window, #force field

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Dogbert stands inside the house looking out the window. A bird flies into the window and bounces off. The bird knocks on the door. Dogbert answers the door and the bird says, "Excuse me, mammal. Would you please lower your invisible force field so I can fly through?" Dogbert replies, "That's no force field; that's a window." The bird enters the house and says, "Oh, worms! I'm always making that mistake. We birds can be pretty stupid sometimes." Dilbert says, "Hi, little bird. You look thirsty. Would you like some water?" The bird replies, "Sure." Dogbert says, "Don't put it in a glass; he might beat his brains out with it."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 09, 1997's comic on:

Tags #new org chart, #graphical lay out, #mentor

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Dilbert stands behind Wally's desk and says, "The new org chart has my name lower than yours, but it doesn't mean anything." Dilbert shows Wally the chart and says, "See? It wouldn't all fit across the page. It's just a graphical layout thing, that's all." Alice holds out her coffee mug and says, "Hey, Dil-boy, put a head on this and fetch my mail." Wally asks Dilbert, "Are you asking me to be your mentor?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 26, 1997's comic on:

Tags #business consulatnts, #common sense, #debunks effectiveness, #logically flwaed, #no common sense, #writing book, #mass market

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Dogbert stands at a desk typing. He tells Dilbert, "I'm writing a book that debunks the effectiveness of business consultants." Dilbert says, "But common sense would say that you're being a consultant yourself, so your opinion is logically flawed." Dilbert says, "Only people with no common sense will buy your book." Dogbert replies, "I prefer to call them the mass market."