Mans Face Comic Strips - Page 9
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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I wonder if Dogbert is enjoying his sky diving lessons." Dogbert crashes through the ceiling and lands on the desk. Dogbert lies face-down on the desk and says, "Boy . . . No wonder they only charge six bucks."
Bob the Dinosaur stands at a man's door and says, "Hi. I'm Bob. I called earlier about the babysitting job." The man says, "To be honest, we didn't know you were a dinosaur when you called . . ." Bob replies, "That's okay. I didn't know you were yuppie bigots."
Dilbert stands in front of a man's desk and says, "Hi. You must be the new secretary." The man replies, "Well, yes and no . . ." The man explains, "Granted, I'm temporarily being paid for performing secretary-like duties. But I'm really an author, a jazz pianist and a thespian. I have a Ph.D. in Psychology." Dilbert says, "Sounds like a little crisis with the ol' self-image." The man adds, "And a gourmet chef . . ."
Doctor: There he is... Tiny Tom the convict is clinging to this man's pancreas. Note: Sometimes it is necessary to suspend disbelief for the purpose of creating comic situations. Parents should explain to their children that convicts will rarely, if ever, cling to another person's pancreas. Doctor Fishlips: Ho ho, it appears we have also located our own nurse Woodmeyer the tramp!
Dilbert stands at the counter in a joke store. The salesclerk says, "You might be interested in our exploding cigars." The clerk lights a cigar and says, "I'll fire one up just to show you . . ." The trick cigar explodes. Dilbert asks, "Aren't they harmful?" The clerk, who has burns on his face, replies, "Studies are inconclusive."
Dilbert and the Boss stand in the lab. The Boss asks, "Are you telling me that your automatic denture invention mistook Johnson for a meat loaf?" Dilbert replies, "Yeah . . . Last April. I guess I should have told somebody." The Boss covers his face with his hands. Dilbert asks, "Is there a form I need to fill out?"
Dogbert holds a drapery cord and says to a man and a woman, "My museum is the only place you can see the remains of D. B. Cooper." Dogbert continues, "Cooper hijacked a jet, demanded money and a parachute, then jumped." Dogbert opens the curtain and says, "He learned that you should never get your parachutes from the same people you're robbing." A man's legs and a backpack are inside the display case.
Dilbert sits on an examining table. A man with a stethoscope says, "I'd like to try a treatment which may seem unconventional." The man waves his arms and shouts, "Oh hear me, Omdahr, Demon of Gaath, heal this man's arm!!" Dilbert asks, "Has that ever worked?" The man replies, "Beats me. I've never tried it before." A demon's hand reaches toward the man's head.
A boy walks up behind Dogbert and yells, "Yo! Mutt!!" The boy holds out a piece of paper and continues, "I need an excuse for not doing my homework. Chew on this assignment sheet and I'll say 'A dog ate it.'" The boy sits in a classroom desk and says, "A dog made me eat it." The boy's clothes are ripped and his face is dirty.
Dilbert opens his door to two women. One woman says, "Hi, we're with the 'Women's Power Organization.' Do you have a moment?" The woman hits Dilbert in the stomach and his glasses fly off his face. Dilbert lies in the doorway. As they walk away one woman asks, "How many are left?" The other woman replies, "Two billion."