Market Value Comic Strips - Page 9
259 Results for Market Value
View 81 - 90 results for market value comic strips. Discover the best "Market Value" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share December 24, 2001's comic on:
Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert says to Wally, "Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to enhance stockholder value." Dilbert asks, "Do you ever feel that way?" Wally pours the entire coffee pot into his mouth: "Glug Glug Glug." Wally hands Dilbert the empty coffee pot. Dilbert says, "I'll take that as a No."
Share May 07, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm giving everyone on my staff this inspirational book about a successful fish market!" The Boss continues, "I want you to be like the characters in the book." Wally says to Dilbert, "The title characters get captured, tossed around and eaten." Dilbert looks at the book and says, "Depressing."
Share June 13, 2003's comic on:
Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."
Share June 23, 2003's comic on:
The Boss addresses a meeting, "The company will be taking a one-time charge to write down the value of our merger." The Boss continues, "The number is so large that it has no name. Our marketing department is on it." A co-worker raises his hand and says, "Let's see a show of hands for 'Frooglepoopillion.'"
Share January 24, 2004's comic on:
Share February 16, 2004's comic on:
DOGBERT CONSULTS Dogbert: "To survive, you must create disruptive innovations that redefine the market." wally: "Does that mean the same thing as 'sell things people want'?" Dogbert: "There's one big difference." wally: "You only get paid if you say it in a funny way?" dogcart: "I like to think disruptively innovative."
Share March 15, 2004's comic on:
Share May 23, 1999's comic on:
Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."
Share June 18, 2005's comic on:
The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.
Share July 23, 2005's comic on:
Dilbert: The best way to make this decision is by calculating the expected value of each possible outcome. you multiply the... The Boss: Must pretend to be dead. Dilbert: I sense that were done here. The Boss: I hope the dead sometimes cover their ears.