Move To External Comic Strips - Page 9

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140 Results for Move To External

View 81 - 90 results for move to external comic strips. Discover the best "Move To External" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #complaints, #dating, #dog is perfect, #improve, #list, #lose weight, #need improvements, #new odor, #new wardrobe, #polish up, #new haircut, #relationships

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The dark haired woman from the gym and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert is sitting on the arm rest next to them. The woman says, "I made a list of all the ways you need to improve in order to keep dating me." Dilbert reads the list aloud: "Lose forty pounds, new wardrobe, new haircut, new car, new odor..." The woman interupts, "But your dog is perfect. How'd that happen?" Dogbert replies, "When can you move in?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2001's comic on:


Tags #selfish, #dimwitted, #six sigma consulatant, #bog down meetings, #process, #can't hurt anything

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Headline: Six Sigma Consultant. Dogbert is standing in front of a room. He says, "All of you are selfish and dimwitted but don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I'll teach you a process that will bog you down in meetings so you can't hurt anything." Asok panics and exclaims, "I can't move my arms!" The rest of the class is asleep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2001's comic on:


Tags #another cubicle, #office moving budget, #transfer to elbonia, #relocation budget, #budget is shot, #mail yourself home

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I want to move you to another cubicle but my office moving budget is shot." The Boss continues, "So I'm going to transfer you to Elbonia and then back so I can use the relocation budget." An Elbonian is on the phone. He relays a message to Dilbert: "He says the relocation budget is shot but you can mail yourself home."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 26, 2000's comic on:


Tags #points at screen, #oily finger, #clean screen, #hover finger, #losing aura of infalliability

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The Boss points to the screen and tells Tina the Tech Writer while she is behind her computer: "Tina, move that title..." He continues: "...over here." Tina screams: "Aaaagh!!" She exclaims: "Your finger oil is on my screen!!!" She says: "Now I have to spend ten minutes cleaning it..." She continues: "...because you don't understand how to hover your finger." She demonstrates for the Boss: "See?! This isn't hard. You hover the finger! Don't touch!" The Boss thinks as he is walking away: "I hope I'm not losing my aura of infallibility."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 2002's comic on:


Tags #new ceo, #charisma, #miracle worker, #emptied wallte, #gave back, #classy

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Dilbert has his wrists stuck together and Wally is bound in duct tape. Dilbert says, "I like our new CEO. He has charisma." Wally replies, "The man sure knows how to rob. He's a miracle worker with duct tape." Wally continues, "He even gave me back my emptied wallet." Dilbert says, "Classy move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 07, 2002's comic on:


Tags #yemp, #fear of commitment, #one foot out door, #swiped

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The temp is standing with one leg up in the air. He says to Dilbert, "I'm a temp with a fear of commitment. I keep one foot out the door." Dilbert hands the temp a piece of paper and says, "Whatever. Just take care of this for me. It'll take ten minutes." The temp zips away faster than his clothes can move.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 20, 2003's comic on:


Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid

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Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #obliterate connection, #my perfromance, #my rewards, #3d objects

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The merger will obliterate the connection between my performance and rewards. My arms hang like wet ropes. there is no reason to move again. Dilbert: From 9 - 930 I rotated 3 dimensional objects in my mind. My ears hang like wet ropes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2003's comic on:


Tags #ceo, #move offcie, #near ceo home, #hug expense, #eat mud and die, #stock options, #buy hummer

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The Boss: "Our company is relocating to be nearer to our CEO's home." "When asked about the justification for the huge expense, our CO quipped, 'HA HA HA! Eat mud and die!'" "Then he gave himself some stock options and went to buy a Hummer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #software faults, #ship date, #future development, #coulumn, #what to call stuff, #figuring

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Dilbert: We still have too many software faults. We'll miss our ship date. The boss: "Move the list of faults to the 'future development' column and ship it." "90% of this job is figuring out what to call stuff."