Need To Talk Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Need To Talk

View 81 - 90 results for need to talk comic strips. Discover the best "Need To Talk" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #preventer, #information services, #web mistress, #firewall inadequate, #talk cobol baby

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac approaches Ming and says, "I am Mordac, the preventor of information services!" Ming replies, "I am web mistress Ming!" Mordac says to Ming, "Your firewall is inadequate. You must be punished!" Ming responds, "Your HTML is weak! You must be punished!" Mordac holds Ming in his arms tilting her backward and says, "I must have you!" Ming replies, "Talk Cobol to me, baby."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #escalate, #escalator, #marketing guys, #misunderstands, #need to escalate, #goes to store

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to the Boss, "The marketing guys are stalling. You need to ecalate." The Boss leaves his office thinking to himself, "Must escalate." The Boss is in a department store riding an escalator, thinking to himself "I'll never understand how this helps."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blank copies, #copied wrong sides, #intern, #new temp, #talk to hand, #tells off

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: These copies you made for me are blank. New Temp: Thats because all the originals were blank. Asok: Maybe you could have checked the other sides, New temp: Talk to the hand.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #casual dress day, #hurting productivity, #need to cancel, #real problems, #irrational management, #comfortable plants

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Catbert, "Casual Dress Day is hurting our productivity. We need to cancel it." Catbert says, "Is it possible that our real problems are caused by irrational management?" The Boss says, "No, I think comfortable pants are the problem." Catbert says, "Sounds right."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #direction signs, #conference, #arrow, #pointing right, #need pointing left, #spooky, #flipped sign

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss leans into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "We have a problem." The Boss holds up a cutout arrow and says, "I ordered these direction signs for our conference tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow in front of him and says, "But they all point to the right. I need left arrows." The Boss asks, "Is it too late to change the site of the conference to match the arrows?" Dilbert thinks and says, "Well, that would put us in the middle of a lake." Dilbert continues, "I guess we could get a helicopter to built a deep- water platform hotel...by tomorrow." The Boss holds the arrow and says, "Okay, but get to bids." He turns the arrow, and it now points to the left. He looks down and says, "What?" The Boss walks out of the cubicle carrying the arrow and staring at it. He says, "Spooky."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new things to say, #fill airtime, #let other people talk

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally stand having coffee. Wally says, "I'm running out of new things to say." Wally continues, "I'll have to start repeating myself just to fill the airtime." Dilbert replies, "You could let other people talk." Wally continues, "So, anyway, I'm running out of new things to say."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #need bodies, #outnumbered, #marekting, #bucket head, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally and Dilbert are walking by when the Boss signals for them to come with him and says, "Hey, Come to this meeting. I need some bodies." The Boss continues, "I don't want to be outnumbered by marketing." Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and another man sit at the table. A dummy body has been propped up next to Dilbert, with a bucket for a head. Dilbert turns and says, "Hi." The other man says, "He's on our side."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaints, #dating, #dog is perfect, #improve, #list, #lose weight, #need improvements, #new odor, #new wardrobe, #polish up, #new haircut, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

The dark haired woman from the gym and Dilbert are sitting on the couch. Dogbert is sitting on the arm rest next to them. The woman says, "I made a list of all the ways you need to improve in order to keep dating me." Dilbert reads the list aloud: "Lose forty pounds, new wardrobe, new haircut, new car, new odor..." The woman interupts, "But your dog is perfect. How'd that happen?" Dogbert replies, "When can you move in?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #not answered email, #poorly written, #didn't undertsnd, #dare to start dialogue, #talk with boss, #email boss

View Transcript

Transcript

A coworker asks Dilbert, "Dude, why haven't you answered my e-mail?" Dilbert responds, "Your message was so poorly written that I didn't understand it and I didn't dare to start a dialogue." The coworker crosses his arms and says, "Maybe I should have a talk with your boss." Dilbert responds, "Maybe you should e-mail him."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need approval, #equipment, #installed

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to The Boss, "I need your approval for this expense. The equipment is already here and installed." Dilbert continues, "I left out the description because you wouldn't understand it anyway." The Boss says to Catbert, "There's a fine line between managing and being totally useless." Catbert responds, "Luckily it looks the same."