New Design Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for New Design

View 81 - 90 results for new design comic strips. Discover the best "New Design" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #defantalator, #invention, #eliminate, #naughty, #male, #employees, #succeeded, #acting, #Men, #new, #hairdo

View Transcript

Transcript

A woman stands in front of the Boss's desk holding a device. The woman says, "My 'defantalator' invention can eliminate the unproductive and naughty thoughts of your male employees." The woman continues, "We succeeded in getting men to stop ACTING like men, but it wasn't enough. Men must stop THINKING like men too." The Boss thinks, "Hmm . . . A little makeup and a new hairdo . . ." The woman points the invention at the Boss and says, "Hey! Cut it out!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #design, #volunteers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Dogbert look at a model of Dilbert's Bioworld experiment. Dilbert says, "I've completed the design for Bioworld. Have you selected the volunteers?" Dogbert replies, "Yes." Dilbert reads a list and says, "So . . . These are the brave people whose lives will depend on my ability to engineer a balanced ecology." Dilbert says, "Seven car salesmen plus Ratbert . . ." Dogbert says, "Coincidence."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #approved underwear list, #blue jeans, #forbidden clothes, #morale, #new casual dress code, #shorts, #tanktops

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I thought it necessary to provide detailed guidelines to our new casual dress code." "Forbidden clothing includes: shorts, tank tops, tee shirts, shirts with slogans, blue jeans, sneakers and sandals." Dilbert: "My morale is soaring." The Boss: "Appendix 'A' is the approved underwear list."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #actual fashion, #fridays, #garanimals, #new dress code, #scrutinized, #sears

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: The new dress code allows casual clothing on fridays. Wally and Dilbert: Gulp The Boss: You'll have to make actual fashion decisions that will be scrutinized by hundreds of your coworkers! wally: Im thinking "garanimals" form 'sears"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reengineering, #questioning employees, #get fired, #objective data, #business process, #flying monkeys, #finished design

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: engineering is simple. you start by questioning the employees who would get fired if you succeeded. The Boss: Then you use data to design a more efficient business process. Dilbert: So...you say you use flying monkeys to deliver the finished design? Men: They're very fast.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new management layer, #middle mangemnet, #new boss, #harfurd, #idiot, #unqualified, #fool

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Im creating a new layer of management so I dont have to talk to you anymore. Richard is your new boss. He has an MBA from Harfund University. Dilbert: You mean Harvard don't you? The Boss: Uh oh

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #use tail, #operate mouse, #engineers, #no tail, #rocky, #new programmer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Zimbu, you're not supposed to use your tail to operate the mouse. If tails were a natural advantage for engineers then evolution would provide usual with tails! The Boss: Dilbert, I don't believe you've met Rocky, out new C programmer.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new wealth, #build amusement park, #thrilling rides, #wedgie, #restrooms, #customers, #build park

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I plan to use my new wealth to build an amusement park. Dogbert: Dogbertland will have thrilling rides like "The wedgie" and I'll have a maze in front of the restrooms. Dilbert: The customers will hate this. Dogbert: If they want fun they can build their own park.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade boss computer, #cardboard prop, #came with desk, #new mother board, #new desk, #needs, #no actual computer

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I want you to help me upgrade the computer in my office." Dilbert: "The computer in your office is a cardboard prop that came with your desk." The Boss: "So, I need a new motherboard, right?" Dilbert: "No, you need a new desk."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #user rep, #stupid, #new paradigm

View Transcript

Transcript

"My user representative is the stupidest..." "No way! My user is the stupidest." "Oh yeah?! Let's have a little wager. Go get your user and I'll get mine!" "You're on!" "Have another scone, Tom." "You're right. They do look just like styrofoam cups." "It's a new paradigm..."