No Chair Sitting Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

818 Results for No Chair Sitting

View 81 - 90 results for no chair sitting comic strips. Discover the best "No Chair Sitting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2007's comic on:


Tags #low balling gaols, #coming year, #decompose chair, #sounds easy, #different chair

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: I'm concerned that you might be low-balling your goals for the coming year. For example, this one says you will 'decompose in your chair'. That sounds easy. Dilbert: Not really. Half of the time I'm in a different chair."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2008's comic on:


Tags #chair, #butt hurt, #boss, #suboptimal, #normal

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: My new chair can be adjusted to a jillion different positions. That practically guarantees I'm using it in a suboptimal way. I think it might be disabling me. Does that look normal to you?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2008's comic on:


Tags #leaning, #sitting, #magazine, #piece of mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting There Wally thinks, "Leaning? What's that got to do with sitting?" Wally thinks, "I remember when Sitting There meant something. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." A voice says, "Frankly, we ran out of things to say about sitting." Wally says, "I find that hard to believe!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #focus group, #surprise, #chair, #sleeping gas, #plotting

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "How's the focus group coming along?" Dilbert says, "They don't like us. They're plotting to storm our observation room." The Boss says, "Release the sleeping gas." Dilbert says, "CHAIR!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #write press releases, #investors, #sitting on coal, #diamonds, #annoyed, #angry, #too much description, #clenching, #eyes closed, #mouth open

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss says, "Tina, I'm lending you to our executive offices to help writes press releases." Boss says, "Your job will be to tell investors we're sitting on coal and trying to make diamonds." Boss says, "By clenching." Tina says, "I got it!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2010's comic on:


Tags #upgrade, #cellphone, #clerk, #sport chair, #laptop, #stare

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'd like to waste the better part of my afternoon trying to upgrade my phone." Dilbert says, "I'll just set up my sport chair, and use my laptop while you mumble and stare at your monitor for what seems like forever." Dilbert says, "Look at me! I'm beating your system!" Man says, "Quiet! I'm trying to stare."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2011's comic on:


Tags #center balanced, #considered an earring, #died getting haircut, #jewelry, #laziness, #normal problems, #sleeping in chair

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I considered getting an earring to make myself more fascinating." Wally says, "But I spend a lot of time sleeping in my chair, so I need my head to be center balanced." Dilbert says, "You don't have normal problems." Wally says, "I almost died getting my hair cut."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 16, 2006's comic on:


Tags #broken chair, #extra one, #guest chair, #unstable, #broken chairs, #upside down

View Transcript

Transcript

"My chair is broken. May I use your extra one?" "I don't have an extra chair." "Sure you do. It's right there." "That's not an extra chair. It's my guest chair." "Okay, whatever. The point is that the base broke off of my chair." "I can't sit on a chair that has no wheel base. It's unstable." "Stop being a baby. Just turn your chair upside-down and it will be totally stable." "When did your chair break?" "Last spring. You get used to it."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #take the chair, #don't sell chairs, #sell hope, #hope of chairs, #ship in 2 months, #call and yell, #buy a chair

View Transcript

Transcript

SALE "I'll take that chair." "Excellent choice." "Now sit there quietly and try not to ask the one question that will kill this sale." "Is the chair in stock?" "GAAA!!!" "The truth is that we don't sell chairs at all. We sell the hope that a chair will someday be made for you." "How long will that take?" "If I could answer that question, it would be the same as selling you an actual chair." "How about if I tell you it will ship in two months, and you call and yell at me every three months for eternity?" "Did you buy a chair?" "There's no way to know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2003's comic on:


Tags #performance review, #denial, #anger, #bargaining, #depression, #acceptance, #trash talking, #lunch, #objectives, #glowing email, #7 stages, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Seven Stages of a Performance Review. Alice is sitting at her computer. The Boss approaches and says, "It's time." Headline: Denial. Carol is sitting across from the Boss. She looks at her evaluation and exclaims, "What the...? These aren't even my objectives!" Headline: Anger. Alice grabs The Boss by his tie and says, "Who said these things about me?!" Headline: Bargaining. Alice calms down and asks, "What if I make someone write a glowing e-mail about me?" Headline: Depression. Alice slumps in her chair and says, "Morale slipping away... hair.... so.... limp." Headline: Acceptance. Alice stands to leave and says, "Whatever, there's no budget for raises anyway." Headline: Trash-talking. Alice walks away from The Boss' office and says to herself, "... Wool-covered pile of ignorant monkey spit." Headline: Lunch. Alice sits in her cubicle and thinks, "A falafel would hit the spot."