Non Technical Comic Strips - Page 9
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211 Results for Non Technical
View 81 - 90 results for non technical comic strips. Discover the best "Non Technical" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday June 08,
2004
Tags #alpha and omega, #fleer, #flout, #gibe, #indispensable greatness, #jeer, #mock, #no pants, #scoff, #sneer, #technical problem, #pantless prima donna
Transcript
"The prima donna" "Behold my indispensable greatness! No technical problem can thwart me!" "I wear no pants, as proof that I am above the rules. I am the alpha and the omega!" "Would you like to see a scoff, jeer, gibe, mock, sneer, fleer or flout?" "Fleer, I guess."
Saturday October 30,
2004
Tags #cancelled vacations, #non refundable, #tickets, #tahiti, #exception, #look skeptical, #coffee, #break room
Transcript
wally: You cancelled all vacations but I have non-refundable plane tickets to tahiti. So I should be an exception to ...the ...um....you look skeptical. Dilbert: I dont think Tahiti would let you in. Wally: why does everyone say that?
Sunday April 04,
1999
Tags #peggy pr dircetor, #press release, #technical accuracy, #trained squirrel, #run on sentences, #transparent lies, #spelling grammar, #errors, #criticism stronger
Transcript
The Boss and a woman approach Dilbert. The Boss says, "Dilbert, this is Peggy the P.R. Director." The Boss continues, "I want you to review her press release for technical accuracy." Peggy presents a document to Dilbert. Dilbert sits and reads it. Peggy watches his reaction. Dilbert asks, "Who wrote this? A trained squirrel?" He continues, "I don't know where to begin." Peggy gets angry as Dilbert takes a pen to the press release. Dilbert says, "I'll cross out the run-on sentences and transparent lies first." Dilbert continues, "Then the failed attempts at cuteness... the spelling errors... grammar." Dilbert returns the press release to a Peggy, who is furious. Dilbert adds, "There you go. Remember, criticism makes you stronger." Dilbert is at home how, clothes torn to shreds, arm in a sling, head bandaged. To Dogbert, he says, "It was a mistake to make her stronger."
Thursday April 28,
2005
Tags #technical glitch, #humble, #condescending engineer, #teach you to ask, #drinking beer, #study english, #sorry
Transcript
Tina: Oh No. It's a technical glitch that I don't know how to fix. "GAA! NOw I must humble myself to some condescending engineer and ask for help!" Alice: "And how did I teach you to ask?" Tina: "I'm sorry that I spent my college years drinking beer and studying English literature."
Wednesday May 28,
2008
Tags #home lap top, #non standard cell phone, #elastic underpants, #trapped, #snagged, #clothes, #rigged, #office
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My only hope for productivity is to smuggle in my home laptop" CLAMP CLAMP CLAMP Mordac says, "Now hand over the non-standard cell phone you keep in the elastic of your underpants."
Friday June 06,
2008
Tags #betray ignorance, #complicated scle, #experience the illusion, #technical report
Transcript
Dilbert says, "You won't read my technical report so I summarized it in this complicated slide." Dilbert says, "If you stare at it long enough you will either experience the illusion of understanding it or be too embarrassed to admit you don't." Dilbert says, "Do you have any questions to betray your ignorance?" Someone says, "Is the triangle thing mad at the tube?"
Saturday June 21,
2008
Tags #monitor actions, #cameras, #strapped to head, #non work related, #attach sensors, #track thoughts, #engineers, #lab assistant
Transcript
Catbert says, "We monitor all of your actions, but we suspect you are still doing non-work-related thinking." Catbert says, "My lab assistant Trixie will attach sensors to your head and track all of your thoughts." The computer screen says, "Mmm... Trixie, wear this while you wash my electric car." Trixie thinks, "Engineers."
Monday September 29,
2008
Tags #bought company, #discriminate, #non elbonian, #hatless spawn, #satans bowels, #elbonian company
Transcript
The Boss says, "An Elbonian company bought our company yesterday." Dilbert says, "What?" The Boss says, "They promise they won't discriminate against non-Elbonians." An Elbonian says, "Hey, hatless spawn of Satan's bowels, put a head on this."
Tuesday September 30,
2008
Tags #new elbonian management, #not discriminate, #non elbonians, #belief system, #level as livestock, #wrong hoof, #new superior
Transcript
An Elbonian says, "I assure you that your new Elbonian management will not discriminate against non-Elbonians." Someone says, "Doesn't your belief system hold that all non-Elbonians are on the same level as livestock?" The Elbonian says, "Someone is starting off on the wrong hoof with his new supervisor."
Tuesday March 16,
2010
Tags #meeting, #coworker, #software, #product, #sitting, #technical issue, #understand, #terms, #comprehension level, #human, #squirrel, #anvil, #awkward, #community college, #business, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Dilbert, explain to Logan the technical issue in terms he can understand." Dilbert says, "Sure. What's his comprehension level? Are we talking human, squirrel or anvil?" The Boss says, "Which one am I?" Dilbert says, "Don't make this awkward." The Boss says, "Did the squirrel go to a community college?"