Not Getting It Comic Strips - Page 9

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291 Results for Not Getting It

View 81 - 90 results for not getting it comic strips. Discover the best "Not Getting It" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #senior executive, #bad deciosn, #end careers, #challenging, #decison, #great idea, #mixed signals, #pull neckties, #hurts

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"If we know our senior executive is making a bad decision, shouldn't we tell her?" "Hmm, yes. Let's end our careers by challenging a decision that won't change. That's a great idea." "I'm getting mixed signals here." "And let's pull our neckties until it hurts!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #after marriage, #get phsyical, #husband be mad, #look sad, #oddly appealing, #dating a while, #liz

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Liz: We've been dating for a while and I find you oddly appealing... But I don't believe in getting physical until after Im married. wouldn't your husband get mad? LIZ: Sometimes it okay just to look sad and shut up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #difference, #entire day, #hamster on wheel, #new assignements, #finish work, #explaining

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Dilbert: I spent the entire day getting new assignments which left no time to actually work on anything. Dilbert: Tomorrow I'll spend the entire day explaining why I didn't finish yesterdays work. Sometimes I don't know the difference between me and hamster on a wheel. Dogbert: Hamsters dont depress me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #customer service, #downsize, #improve service

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The Boss: Our two goals this year are to downsize and to improve customer service. Dilbert: question: how can you improve service if you're getting rid f service people? The Boss: who do you think is screwing up the customer service? duh...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bungee boss, #incoming, #made a difference, #mentor, #sprong!, #bouncing bungee

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The Boss: We'll be getting a new "Bungee Boss" sometime today. Hi - Im -your- new- boss- lets- change- every- thing- beef- I- get- reassigned- pops- too- late- goodbye. sproing wally: He was like a mentor to me. Dilbert: I think he made a difference. The Boss: Incoming!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #future trends, #guess, #more valid, #published, #share vision, #people are dumb

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Dogbert: I'm writing a book of my guesses about future trends. If it gets published then my guesses will seem more valid than other peoples. I'll charge huge fees to share my 'vision" with audiences. Dilbert: Why would people pay huge fees for guesses? Dogbert: Trend number one is that people aren't getting any smarter.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #donate blood, #good for society, #too comepetetive, #thirsty

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Wally and a man stand in line at the blood drive. The man says, "I don't mind donating blood . . . It's good for society . . ." The man continues, "But I'm worried that our company is getting too competitive about how much we give compared to other companies." Dilbert leaves the blood drive saying, "Man, I'm thirsty!!" His head and body have shrunk to half their normal size.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 1994's comic on:


Tags #existential problem, #dilbert reconciling work, #paid, #salary, #what do for money, #flick fingers, #get paid, #money

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Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "I just lost the subtle mental connection between my performance and my salary." Dilbert continues thinking, "I get paid the same no matter what I do. I can stand here and flick my fingers and still get paid." As he flicks his fingers, Dilbert says to Alice and Wally, "Do you realize what this means??!" Wally says, "Hey! You're getting paid for that!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 1994's comic on:


Tags #9000 crtification, #great on brochures, #certificates, #consistent process, #lie on brochures

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The Boss says, "I'm putting you in charge of getting our 'ISO 9000' certification." The Boss continues, "We don't know what it is but it looks great on brochures." Dilbert says, "I think it certifies that we follow a consistent process." The Boss says, "That's us, we always lie on our brochures."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 1994's comic on:


Tags #iso 9000 certfication, #create boring, #poorly written document, #big binder, #copies to dept. heads, #dead racoon

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Dilbert puts a transparency on an overhead projector and says, "Here's the basic plan for getting our 'ISO 9000' certification." Dilbert points at the diagram and continues, "Each of you will create an insanely boring, poorly written document. I'll combine them into one big honkin' binder." Dilbert points to a picture of a man passing a binder to another man and continues, "I'll send copies to all department heads for comment. They will treat it like a dead raccoon and route it to the first passerby."