Not Nice To Meet Comic Strips - Page 9

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295 Results for Not Nice To Meet

View 81 - 90 results for not nice to meet comic strips. Discover the best "Not Nice To Meet" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #handle, #kiss, #hand shake, #debbie, #filibuster, #movies, #economy

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Dilbert stands at the door with a two-headed woman. The woman says, "You're wondering how to handle the good night kiss . . ." Dilbert says, "Uh . . ." Donna says, "By a vote of two to zero we've decided not to kiss you. And Debbie has threatened a filibuster on the handshake issue." Dilbert holds his hand out and thinks, "It's a bluff." Debbie says, "Nice weather today. Have you seen any good movies? How about the economy, huh?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #noriko, #bob, #dinosaur, #extinct, #couch, #house, #credenza, #belmonts, #crazy glue, #drawer

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Dogbert says, "Noriko, I'd like you to meet Bob the Dinosaur." Noriko and Bob say "Hi" to each other. Noriko says, "I thought dinosaurs were all extinct." Dogbert replies, "No, they were just hiding. We found Bob behind the couch." Noriko says, "I wish we had one at our house." Bob says, "Look in your credenza. The Belmonts live in the 'Krazy Glue' drawer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Wally, #consultant

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Dogbert says to Wally, "The company's woes are YOUR fault, not senior management's!" Dogbert asks, "Do you realize how much YOU could gain personally by making the company a success?" Wally replies, "I would get a nice plaque in a plastic frame." Dogbert says, "Yeah . . . I was hoping you didn't know."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1993's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #Dogbert, #outdoors, #activity

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Dogbert sits on his pillow. Ratbert says, "I can't remember if I'm left-handed or right-handed." Ratbert says, "I live in fear that I'll be walking in the park, someone will toss me a ball and I'll look . . . awkward." Ratbert lies underneath a ball. The person who threw the ball says, "Nice catch, rat." Ratbert asks, "Really? It didn't look awkward?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #zap, #building, #anti-social

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. As Dilbert assembles a device, Dogbert says, "I was wondering if you could build a phaser pistol so I can zap the many fools I encounter every day." Dogbert continues, "Nothing lethal, just enough to make them twitch wildly and scream. It would be fun." Dilbert says, "That wouldn't be very nice to the fools." Dogbert replies, "I just think you guys should provide more value to society."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words

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"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1994's comic on:


Tags #after every typo, #point and click, #poorly documented commands, #reboot, #interface

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"We could design the product with a simple point - and - click interface..." "Or we could require the user to choose among thousands of poorly documented commands, each of which must be typed exactly right on the first try." "Bear in mind, we'll never meet a customer ourselves." "Make it so they have to reboot after every typo."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #product development process, #buy in, #managers, #happy if dead, #executive oversight, #issues, #blind, #looked at bulb

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The Boss points to a diagram and says, "Problem: our product development process requires buy-in from managers who'd be happier if we all died." As he puts a new transparency on the overhead projector, the Boss says, "My solution is to create executive oversight groups who don't understand the issues and don't have time to meet." Wally and Dilbert watch as the Boss looks into the light and yells, "I'm . . . I'm blind!" Dilbert says, "You looked directly at the bulb again."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #new org chart, #so close, #too bad, #play before firing, #downsized

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Catbert stands on a cubicle wall waving a document. Catbert says to Alice, "Here's the new org chart. Maybe you're on it and maybe not." Alice jumps up and tries to reach the sheet as Catbert holds it out of reach. Catbert taunts, "Ooh! Nice try! So close. Too bad." Catbert ties the chart to a string and dangles it into the cubicles. Wally and Alice lunge for it. Catbert says, "It's fun to play with them before downsizing them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 1995's comic on:


Tags #lots howard, #cubicle neigborr, #immortal soul, #laser printer, #dogbert doesn't care

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Wally says to Dilbert, "Allow me to introduce Loud Howard." Howard, a man with a huge mouth, shouts, "Hi!" Wally says, "I will make Loud Howard your cubicle neighbor in the new office unless you give me your immortal soul!!" Howard shouts, "Nice day!" Back at home, Dilbert and Dogbert lie on the couch. Dilbert says, ". . . Fortunately I convinced him to take my laser printer instead . . ." Trying to read a book, Dogbert says, "What did I say that sounded like 'Tell me about your day?'"