Obscene Message Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

112 Results for Obscene Message

View 81 - 90 results for obscene message comic strips. Discover the best "Obscene Message" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #ad company, #deceptive and abusive, #mobile app, #crying

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired the Dogbert Ad Company to build some deceptive and abusive ads for our mobile app. Dogbert: I prefer to call our ads "effective." It means the same thing. Our most effective ad looks like a text message from your doctor saying he can't stop crying.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #incompetent, #dogbert investment bank, #shareholder, #bribe, #merger, #unwise, #commission, #best seller, #read, #jail

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on it." CEO says, "Can I read it?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #work, #lazy, #update software, #computer, #reboot, #endless cycle, #drink coffee, #optimism, #past, #waste time, #technology, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "Every time I update my software, it tells me I have to reboot." Wally says, "And every time I reboot, I get another message to update something else. It's all I've been doing since October." The Boss says, "But you worked in September, right?" Wally says, "I admire your optimism about the past."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #facebook, #social network, #coworker, #pay money, #prostitute, #frienditute

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Amber, I'll pay you $500 a month to pretend to be my friend on Facebook." Dilbert says, "All you need to do is leave me a public message every once in a while." Amber says, "That would make me a?" Dilbert says, "Frienditute. But it's better if we don't name it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #scheme, #meeting, #payment, #greed, #money, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "My base pay will be one dollar per year. The rest will be stock incentives." Dilbert says, "That guarantees you will reap obscene profits when the overall stock market improves, no matter what you do." Dogbert says, "Pretend you don't know that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #boss, #confused, #demanding, #corrupt, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Gas up the company jet, flunky. I'm going skiing in Aspen." Man says, "Using the corporate jet for a vacation sends the wrong message." Man says, "And you can't ski in the summer." Dogbert says, "What message do forty planeloads of snow send?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #reading, #e-mail, #memo, #urging, #congress, #law, #opposed, #annoyed, #ridicule, #business, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss says, "The company urges all of you to e-mail your congressman and support the bill that gives us pork projects." Dilbert says, "If that bill becomes law, it will, in effect, transfer my tax money to you executives for your next obscene bonuses." The Boss says, "Don't you own company stock in your retirement account?" Dilbert says, "No, I'm only dumb enough to work here."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desk, #toys, #decorations, #removing, #defending, #stifling

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Alice, remove the toys from your cubicle. It sends the wrong message." Alice says ,"You mean the message that says this company is a creative environment that values the individual?" The Boss says, "Exactly. We're going for more of an egg carton vibe."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mandatory meeting, #health and well being, #theme of meeting, #healthy employees are unprodcutive, #exercsing, #eating fruit, #work hard and die, #feel sick, #right on schedule

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tomorrow is the mandatory meeting on employee health and well-being. "The meeting starts at 6 A.M. So it will interfere with your sleep and not your work." Dilbert: "Doesn't that send a message that work is more important than health?" The Boss: "I hope so. That's the theme of the meeting." "Healthy employees are unproductive." "They're always exercising or eating fruit when they should be working." "We prefer employees who work hard and die before their pensions start paying out." Dilbert: "Suddenly I feel sick." The Boss: "Right on schedule!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mordac, #reventer, #information services, #complete log in, #stare directly at sun, #computer message

View Transcript

Transcript

Mordac, the preventer of information services. Mordac: "Security is more important than usability." "In a perfect world, no one would be able to use anything." Asok: To complete the log-in procedure. Stare directly at the sun.