Offered Parking Space Comic Strips - Page 9

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181 Results for Offered Parking Space

View 81 - 90 results for offered parking space comic strips. Discover the best "Offered Parking Space" comics from Dilbert.com.

Naming The Spaceship

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Naming The Spaceship - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #naming, #space, #space flight, #rocket, #engineering, #failure, #death, #medical

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Ted: I'm looking for a name for the spaceship that I designed. Dilbert: How about "Death Tube?" Alice: "Space Debris?" Wally: "Final Resting Place?" Ted: I was hoping for something more positive. Voice: We're positive it will explode.

First Astronaut

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First Astronaut - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #astronaut, #business, #coffee, #division, #face mask, #honor, #question, #safety, #space, #technology, #test, #mars

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carol: our space division asked if you would accept the honor of being their first astronaut to mars. boss: i didn't know they had even tested it for safety yet. carol: he asked too many questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annoyance, #anxiety, #internet & world wide web, #password recovery, #password, #pin code, #user name, #code word, #complicated planet, #floyd, #first person, #breath, #jump, #outer psce

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Dogbert: Are you trying to recover a password, PIN code, user name, pass code or code word? Man: I hate this stupid complicated planet! I am so out of here! Dogbert's password recovery service. And that is how Floyd became the first person to hold his breath and jump into outer space.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excitement, #interviews, #wages, #interview, #less money, #worse job, #imagined better, #hald day, #next useless interview, #money

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Wally says, "How did your interview go yesterday?" Dilbert says, "Great!" Dilbert says, "They offered less money for a worse job. But for half a day I imagined it would be better." Wally says, "Half a day/! Lucky!" Dilbert says, "I know! I can't wait for my next useless interview!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commerce, #competition (psychology), #hate new product, #customers, #fake revenue projections, #engineer, #stronger company, #engineering

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Dilbert: If consumers hate our new product, we will probably go out of business. If they love our new product, a stronger company will enter the space and drive us out of business. CEO: Tell the engineer to stop making me sad. Boss: I have some fake revenue projections to cheer you up.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cloud, #email, #internet speak, #lingo, #meetings, #pretending, #text, #understanding technology, #wi fi, #skype

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Boss: Did you get the email I texted to you? Co-worker: What? That doesn't even make sense. What the heck is wrong with you? Dilbert: Let it go. He slips in and out of understanding basic technology. Boss: Do we have enough room in the cloud for Skype? Because if we don't, we can store some files on the wi-fi. Dilbert: I got this. We have plenty of space because we upgraded to a cumulonimbus cloud. Boss: Very good. Moving on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aircraft, #invention, #regret

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Dilbert operates a remote control model airplane. The plane explodes in the sky. Dogbert stands in front three remote control missiles. Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Regrettably, you violated my air space."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer, #park, #chemicals, #create, #issues, #technology

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Dilbert sits at his desk and says, "Wow! According to my computer simulation, it should be possible to create new life forms from common household chemicals!" Dogbert says, "This raises some thorny issues." Dilbert asks, "You mean legal, ethical and religious issues?" Dogbert replies, "I was thinking about parking spaces."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #critics, #aliens, #eat, #bug, #reptilian, #gerbil, #game show, #visionary, #television

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Dogbert sits on a pillow listening to a radio news broadcast. The newscaster says, "Critics continued their accusations that the management of Megaslime Corporation is made up of reptilian aliens from another planet." The newscaster continues, "A company spokesman offered to eat a bug and not enjoy it, thus proving they are not reptilian." The newscaster continues, "Critics responded by insisting on a live gerbil instead of a bug. Merv Griffin announced that he would launch a new game show based on the concept." Dogbert says, "The man is a visionary."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #woman, #monogamy, #field, #shuttle, #Dogbert, #rides, #uno, #love, #Advice

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Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I'm just a one-woman kind of guy." Dilbert continues, "Some guys like to play the field. Not me. I'm happy with just one woman." Dilbert continues, "Just one. Uno. That's best for me." Dogbert says, "You can take her for rides in the Space Shuttle you'll never have either."