Order Money To Kill Comic Strips - Page 9
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891 Results for Order Money To Kill
View 81 - 90 results for order money to kill comic strips. Discover the best "Order Money To Kill" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 20,
1994
Tags #out bidding, #control, #dsn, #creative investoment, #money, #consultants, #spending, #fast
Transcript
"Bad news sir - our arch rivals are out-bidding us for control of DSN." "Apparently they have even less creative investment ideas than we do." "Quick! Give more money to our consultants!" "They're spending as fast as they can, Sir!!"
Thursday July 14,
1994
Tags #carpal tunnel, #health care, #money, #surgery, #constant agony, #false alarm, #medical
Transcript
Employee: So now I have carpal tunnel syndrome... The Boss: ZZZZ Employee: you don't care about the health of your employees! All you care about is money!! The Boss: money? Employee: I need surgery! Im in constant again!! The boss: False alarm. zzz
Friday August 12,
1994
Tags #still single, #shower, #recoup money, #wedding gifts, #baby showers, #bitter, #election hut, #registered
Transcript
"Wally, you're invited to a 'Still Single' shower in my honor." "I'm trying to recoup all the money I've blown on wedding gifts and baby showers." "Someone's feeling a little bitter today." "I have a pattern registered at 'Electron Hut'."
Friday August 19,
1994
Tags #dogbert outplacement agebcy, #doa, #freelance consulatants, #cubicles, #earn no money, #equipped, #phone, #refurbished ego
Transcript
Dogbert: welcome to the dogcart outplacement agency, or "DOA" as I call it. Dogbert: Here, Nobody "unemployed" You're freelance consultants who sit in cubicles and earn no money! Every cubicle is equipped with a phone and a refurbished ego. ego: I will not work with that thing.
Friday August 26,
1994
Tags #dignity enhancement, #help employees, #less money, #hire someone, #co workers
Transcript
The Boss: Sue was hired to run our new dignity enhancement program. Her charter is to help the employees feel good about themselves while they work harder for less money. Dilbert: How can we afford to hire somebody new? The Boss: Do you remember those cow orders you used to have?
Friday September 09,
1994
Tags #complicated, #create chart, #decision process, #plan, #question, #talking about chart, #wasting money
Transcript
"This chart shows the decision process we're using for my project." "Here we're wasting money. Then someone said, 'hey, let's create a complicated chart.' Now we're at this meeting, talking about the chart." "I have a question." "Great...there goes the plan."
Saturday October 01,
1994
Tags #fired, #hired back, #other people are smarter, #wally is dumb, #boss is dumb, #more money
Transcript
Dilbert: Wally? I thought you got fired. Wally: I did. But people outside the company appear smarter, so they hired me back as a consultant for way more money. wally: Did you understand that? Don't feel embarrassed to ask for help on the hard stuff.
Friday October 14,
1994
Tags #2004, #cheaper than dating, #date at door, #Dogbert, #future, #holodeck, #virtual reality, #writing article, #money, #male hormones
Transcript
Dogbert: "I can predict the future by assuming that money and male hormones are the driving forces for new technology." "Therefore, when virtual reality gets cheaper than dating, society is doomed." "Year 2004" Date: "Is Dilbert available?" DOgbert: "He's been in the holodeck since March."
Thursday October 20,
1994
Tags #dress codes don't apply, #fireing, #hire back, #more money, #reverence package, #telecommute, #two weeks vaction
Transcript
"Great news -- You're fired!" "You get a generous severance package, two weeks' vacation, AND we hire you back as a contractor for more money!!" "And I can telecommute if I want, but since dress codes don't apply to me..." "Aargh!" "Bonk, Bonk"
Friday November 11,
1994
Tags #buy put options, #engineers order, #management approval, #stock, #dogcart the consultant
Transcript
The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "I recommend letting the engineers order their own supplies without management approval." Wally yells, "Yes!!! I'm rich!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!!" Dogbert continues, "And I recommend buying 'Put' options in your stock." Wally stands and says, "Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!"