Own Boats Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

373 Results for Own Boats

View 81 - 90 results for own boats comic strips. Discover the best "Own Boats" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbageman, #device, #standard, #anti-light, #resonance, #paris, #truck, #clone, #stigma

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Please, Mister Garbage Man, help us fix Dilbert's cloning device and bring him back to life!!" The garbage man looks at the device and says, "This shouldn't be too hard . . . Standard anti-light resonance filters . . . Yeah, I think I have parts in the truck." Dogbert asks, "You're going to clone him from his own garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Don't tell anybody - there might be a stigma."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #force, #ego, #insecurities

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert confronts his own ego. Dilbert: You can't leave me now... Dilbert's ego: Nobody tells me what to do! I am pure ego force! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! Dilbert: Maybe you'd like to discuss that with my insecurities.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #employee, #drug, #testing, #program, #turning, #positive, #Classic, #symptoms

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and a woman, "I'm discontinuing the employee drug testing program . . ." The Boss shows Dilbert a document and says, "Because my own tests keep turning out positive . . . Which makes me suspect that some wise guy has tampered with the medical computer." Dilbert says, "Denial and paranoia . . . Classic symptoms." Wally asks, "Is he 'high' right now?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #star, #lies, #money, #lawsuits, #angry, #tabloid, #devoted, #computer, #online

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own tabloid newspaper, the 'Dogbert Star.'" Dogbert explains, "All of the stories will be sensational lies about me . . . That way I'll save money on lawsuits." Dogbert types, "An angry Dogbert denied that his ego was so big he started a tabloid devoted entirely to himself."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #television, #supreme, #ruler, #earth, #idiots, #drive, #happiness, #expectations, #chips, #king

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert sits on a pillow watching tv. He thinks, "The more I watch television, the more I wonder why I'm not already supreme ruler of earth." Dogbert walks away thinking, "Those people are idiots. They should all drive over here and proclaim me their king." Dogbert returns to the pillow with a bag of potato chips and thinks, "The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of chips."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #temperature, #internal, #organs, #compared, #bout, #bubonic, #plague, #repaired, #mower, #co-worker

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and three men sit at a table eating lunch. A man says, "Yeah . . . I had a temperature of 147 degrees and they had to remove my internal organs." Another man says, "Well, that's nothing compared to my bout with bubonic plague last week." A man with no head asks, "Did I ever tell you about the time I repaired my own lawn mower?" Another man thinks, "Not again."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #senator, #appreciate, #close, #vote, #senate, #Political, #committee, #Dogbert, #blind, #faith, #system, #whiskey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert asks Dogbert, "Now that you own a senator, what are you going to do with him?" Dogbert says, "He'll appreciate in value when a close vote comes up in the Senate. Then I'll sell him to a political action committee." Dilbert says, "This is starting to affect my blind faith in the system." Dogbert says, "He's hungry. Do we have any whiskey?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #destiny, #conquer, #elbonia, #using, #hover-saucer, #invention, #intoxicated, #metaphors, #influence, #shouldn't

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of a flying saucer and thinks, "It is my destiny to conquer Elbonia using Dilbert's hover-saucer invention." Dogbert climbs into the saucer thinking, "I feel intoxicated with power and blinded by my own ambition." Dogbert sits in the driver's seat thinking, "Maybe I shouldn't drive while under the influence of metaphors."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonians, #elbonia, #making, #decisions, #paper-rock, #scissors, #olympic, #agree, #rules, #wourse, #mittens, #point

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You've got to step down as King of Elbonia. These people are capable of making their own decisions." An Elbonian says, "The Paper-Rock-Scissors Olympics are canceled. We couldn't agree on the rules." The Elbonian continues, "And of course, we all wear mittens . . ." Dogbert asks Dilbert, "What was your point?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #the boss, #emplopyees, #empowered, #decisions, #empowerment, #concept, #productive, #fired, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, Wally and another employee, "From now on, all employees are empowered to make their own decisions." The Boss continues, "Empowerment is the concept of the nineties. You'll be happier and more productive." Wally says, "You're fired, Dilbert." Dilbert replies, "No, YOU are!" The woman says, "I'll never work hard again!"