Own Industry Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

451 Results for Own Industry

View 81 - 90 results for own industry comic strips. Discover the best "Own Industry" comics from Dilbert.com.

I Own You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Own You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #communication, #text, #control

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why didn't you answer my text last night? Dilbert: Um... Boss: You have no social life, and you aren't dead, so there's no excuse. I own you! Dilbert: Whoever said honest is refreshing never heard any.

Apps Trigger Zombie Apocolypse

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Apps Trigger Zombie Apocolypse   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #apps, #addcitive, #zombie apocalypse, #interact, #see and hear, #own phones, #zombies eat brains, #share button

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our apps are so addictive that we've triggered a zombie apocalypse. Our users no longer interact with the living. They can only see and hear their own phones, Boss: Do the zombies eat brains? Dilbert: Yes. we call it "share" button.

Everyone Is Their Own Boss

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Everyone Is Their Own Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #decision, #employees, #company

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: At my company, every employee is their own boss. Dilbert: How do you make decisions? Man: Can I get back to you when we make one? It's only been two years.

Write Your Own Review

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Write Your Own Review - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #performance, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to write your own performance review for my signature. Dilbert: I'll sign it for you too. I see no reason for you to be involved. Boss: Put something in there about insubordination. Dilbert: Got it.

Alice Writes Own Review

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Writes Own Review - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers, #performance, #sarcasm, #review

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm asking everyone to write their own performance reviews. Alice: "She shone like the light of a thousand suns." Boss: Slop some jargon on that and put a bow on it. Alice: Got it.

Forming Your Own Opinions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Forming Your Own Opinions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Opinion, #social media, #current events, #smartphone

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I used to form my own opinions about current events. Now I just copy whatever the people I follow on social media say. Dilbert: Where do they get their opinions from? Boss: From something called an algorithm.

Best In The Industry

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best In The Industry - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headphones, #best, #persuading, #humor, #confused, #jokes

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The headphones we make are the best in the industry. Man: Our marketing campaign will focus on how they cure brain tumors and raise your IQ. Dilbert: They don't do any of that. Man: This is exactly why we don't let engineers do marketing.

Read It With My Own Eyes

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Read It With My Own Eyes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #communication, #email, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #plans

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I disagree with your email saying the plan won't work. Dilbert: My email said exactly the opposite. I said the plan will definitely work. Man: No, I read it with my own eyes. Dilbert: I'm the one who wrote it!!!

Best Employees

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #best, #office workers, #industry, #attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: we have the best employees in the entire industry. except for ted obviously. ted: wait...what? boss: and here comes the attitude.

What Good Is Money

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #income, #soul, #money, #earn, #rent, #own

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.