Piss Off Comic Strips - Page 9

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

565 Results for Piss Off

View 81 - 90 results for piss off comic strips. Discover the best "Piss Off" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buff bufferman, #rock climbing, #blizzards, #pair of eacles, #leap off, #gran legs, #raging river, #white water, #keyboard, #hunched over

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Dilbert, meet your new coworker, Buff Bufferman." "Tell Dilbert what you do for fun." Buff: "I like to go rock climbing during blizzards." The boss: "Escape." Buff: "At the top, I wait for a pair of eagles to fly by. Then I leap off and grab them by the legs." "The eagles slow my descent to the raging river below." "I try to land on a floating log and surf the white water all the way home." Dilbert: "I use a key-board." Buff: "Isn't that dangerous?" Dilbert: "Sometimes I type all hunched over." "Ow! Ow! It hurts to hear it!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #day off, #gerbil, #heartless, #horrible person, #insensitive, #mean, #sisters weight, #toss in casket, #twin sister death

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: "I need a day off to attend my twin sister's funeral." The Boss: "A whole day? How well did you know her?" Carol: "She.. was.. my... twin." The Boss: "But not identical!" Carol: "How does that matter?" The Boss: "Well, she didn't even look like you." The Boss: "And yet you want a whole day off for a service that takes fifteen minutes." Carol: "Gaa! It would be impossible to be more insensitive!" The Boss: "I'll compromise. My pet gerbil is on his last legs. I'll give you the day off if you toss him in the casket so I don't have to bury him myself." Carol: "When do you think it will die?" The Boss: "Depends. How much does your sister weigh?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slump, #make changes, #management style, #paternal, #new management style, #we hate employees, #volunteer, #nineties, #kick off, #kick intern, #bent over

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss addressing Wally and Dilbert says, "Our industry is in a slump. We need to make changes." Pointing to a slide of Asok being handed an ice-cream cone, the boss says, "Our current mangement style could be described as paternal." Pointing to a slide of a man getting kicked, the boss says, "Our new management style doesn't have a name yet." Asok, waving his arm, says, "Ooh ooh! I have a suggestion." Asok continues, "The new management style could be called 'We hate our employees.'" The boss says, "Not bad." The boss says, "I need a volunteer to help with the 'Back to the nineties' kick-off." Asok bends over preparing to be kicked as he asks, "How is this like the nineties?" The boss, about to kick, says, "Stop wiggling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email down, #ancients do, #combustible material, #coworker scared, #hold me, #entire life, #hug, #bad hug, #have coffee, #drop off

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert sits in front of his computer. He screams, "GAAA!! E-mail is down!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Don't panic...think...how would the ancients handle this?" Dilbert stands at the entrance to his cubicle and thinks, "I've got combustible materials...I can start some sort of fire." Susan walks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "E-mail is down...Hold me." Dilbert allows Susan to hug him, holding his arms out ahead of him. He thinks, "I'll keep my arms straight out so I don't seem too eager." Dilbert continues thinking, while Susan hugs him, "This may be the least satisfying hug of my entire life." Wally walks into the cubicle and says, "E-mail is working again." Carol asks, "So, would you like to have some coffee?" Dilbert answers, "Sure! I'll be doing my e-mail. Just drop it off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #fear, #opinion of plan, #rip off arms, #track down family, #kill family, #india, #Advice, #giving advice

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I'm afraid to give Alice my opinion of her plan. Dilbert: What's the worst thing that could happen? Asok: She could rip off both of my arms and beat me to death with them. Then she could track down my family in India and kill them one by one. Is this your first time giving advice? Dilbert: I just figured out why no one ever asks for it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #executives, #work ethic, #acting ceo, #murder employees, #start up, #unprofitable, #ridiculous jargon, #wishful thinking, #luck, #show off, #management fad

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I heard that while you were acting CEO you... murdered nine employees, bought an unprofitable start-up and embraced a new management fad that is nothing but ridiculous jargon and wishful thinking. No one likes a show-off. Boss: I swear it was just luck.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obstinacy, #prove wrong, #never work, #reflex, #worst idea, #last day of life, #jump off roof

View Transcript

Transcript

Jeff had to prove everyone wrong. That will never work. It was like a reflex. He couldn't stop. That's the worst idea I have ever heard. This was his last day of life. Alice: You can't jump off the roof right now. Jeff: Uh-oh.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #wounds & injuries, #work related injury, #year off, #with pay, #drinking coffee, #listening to podcast, #personal, #butt hurts, #kill, #murder, #surfing internet

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I have a work-related injury, so I need a year off with pay. Catbert: What happened? Wally: I was drinking coffee and listening to a podcast while surfing the Internet for personal reasons. Now my buttocks hurt. Catbert: I think I'm within my rights to kill you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bad days, #decisons, #enviornment, #good days, #happiness, #in your mind, #perceptions, #ticked off, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I had a great day yesterday! Garbage Man: No you didn't. Good and bad days are only in your mind. The environment is largely the same as the day before. Dilbert: You're ticking me off. Garbage Man: Or am I?