Plan Work Comic Strips - Page 9

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1000 Results for Plan Work

View 81 - 90 results for plan work comic strips. Discover the best "Plan Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Mind Reader

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Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, plan, sabotage, mind reader, success, apology

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dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

Let Me Know If You Need Help

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Let Me Know If You Need Help - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, teamwork, help, work, awkward

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dilbert: if you need an help at all, just let me know. employee: i need a lot of help. be here at 8 am and plan to work late. dilbert: this is awkward, but i didn't mean a word of what i said.

Reasonable Assumptions

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 Reasonable Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, plan, reasonable, unreasonable, assumptions, job, face mask, sarcasm

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dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.

Worst Place To Work

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Worst Place To Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags barrel, best, business, dead, employees, employment, place, publication, squirrels, technology, trade, work, sarcasm

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boss in board room: a trade publication ranked us dead last on their list of "best places to work." the review says, "employees say working there is like eating a barrel of dead squirrels." boss: could have been worse. dilbert: only for the squirrels.

Work From Home Or Office

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Work From Home Or Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, office, work from home, home, quit, shoot, dead, mistake, happiness

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boss on video call. boss: how many of you would prefer going back to work in the office instead of working at home? voices from laptop: i'd rather be dead. i quit. shoot me. boss walking in living room thinking: i knew it was a mistake to let them taste happiness.

Marrying An Elbonian

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Marrying An Elbonian  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, elbonia, accusations, marriage, plan, job, name, sarcasm, bigot

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dilbert and dogbert on couch at home. dilbert: people at work accused me of being bigoted against elbonian men, so i'm marrying one to prove them wrong and keep my job. dogbert: what's his name? dilbert: i think it's something like gluppfril or breemf. dogbert: sounds like a solid plan.

Marriage Takes Work

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Marriage Takes Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, marriage, talk, bigot, job, gay, homosexual, work

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dilbert: before we get married, we need to talk about a few things. first, i'm only marrying you to prove i'm not a bigot and to save my job. second, neither of us is gay. elbonian man: they say marriage takes work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, work ethic, work-life balance, implies life is impirtant, work-life intergration, big thanks, never had a life

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Catbert says, "We're no longer using the term 'work-life balance' because it implies that your life is important." Catbert says, "Now we call it 'work-life integration' so it's easier to make you work when you would prefer being with loved ones." Catbert says, "And I'd like to give a big thanks to those of you who never had a life." Dilbert says, "You're welcome."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, ventriloquism, information overload, libertarian, taxidermist, hand hole, work, like puppet, creepy, business

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Alice says, "His brain shut down from information overload, so I asked a libertarian taxidermist to stuff him." Alice says, "There's a hand hole in the back so we can work him like a puppet." Dilbert says, "It's sort of creepy." Alice says, "You'll get used to it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags time travel, elbonia, time, 70 years future, great grandson, set thing, won't work out, cave, pool, monster, gun

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Dilbert: I hope I'm not calling too late. What time is it in Elbonia? Elbonian: We're seventy years in your future. I'm the great grandson of the guy you are trying to reach. By the way, that SETI thing won't work out the way you're hoping.